The Grant~An IT Crowd Fanfiction

Standard Fainting Spells

Moss, Richmond, and Imogene wrapped one of Roy's arms around Moss's shoulder and one around Imogene's, and had Richmond hold Roy's waist from behind. It ended up looking extremely suspicious, especially considering Imogene was covered in blood and had a handkerchief shoved up her nostrils, while Roy was covered in a dark brown substance below the waist. And frankly, Richmond's emo attire didn't do much for him, either. They really did look like a bunch of hooligans, to use that poor old lady's words, as they tugged Roy up the stairs and out of the Fenwick basement.

Nonetheless, the quartet trudged through the stark white department store, Roy's shoes dragging on the linoleum and Imogene constantly adjusting the handkerchief that kept slipping from her nose. Richmond was moving in a weird squat-like position and glancing weirdly from side to side, like some sort of deranged spider-being. Moss was the only one who didn't have anything remotely peculiar going on with him, except for the fact that, well—he was Moss. And he did have a bloody handprint on his left shoulder, and some chocolate on his jeans from Roy rubbing up against him.

"He's slipping!" he whispered to Imogene.

"I can't hold him!" she whined. "He's twice my size! And it's not like you're helping!"

"Richmond's the one who isn't helping!"

"Well it's not like you gave him anything to do."

"You're the one who said he should take the back end!"

Imogene's handkerchief fell to the floor. "Wait! We have to stop."

Moss rolled his eyes. "Oh, please."

"Look, I'm very stressed out right now!" Imogene whimpered. "Quit yelling at me!"

"I'm not yelling at you! I'm quiet as a mouse!"

"Just let me kneel down and pick this up and then we can leave."

"Alright. But hurry."

She tried to hold Roy and grab the cloth from the ground at the same time, but Moss buckled under Roy's weight. The two of them toppled into a clothing rack and tipped it to the floor, which made a loud BANG that ricocheted throughout the building.

"Thanks a lot, Imogene," Moss snapped.

"It's not my fault I got my period in my nose!" she said a little too loudly, pulling up on his arm. "Quit being dead weight and help me!"

"Ugh, no!" he winced. "TMI! I didn't even know it came out that end!"

"It doesn't! It's a comparison!"

Imogene and Richmond dug Moss out of the heap of clothes and resumed their awkward position with Roy on their shoulders.

"There's another security guard over there," said Richmond. "I think he's watching us."

"You know what?" Imogene piped up. "Your voice reminds me of an owl. It's extremely unique. You should go into voice acting."

"Aw! Thank you! You're too kind!"

"Look!" Moss exclaimed. "The door's over there! Let's hurry before they catch us!"

"Yeah, right," Imogene scoffed. "Like we can hurry set up like this."

Richmond looked back at the security guard and saw the old lady from before standing next to him—the one who had viciously beaten him with a handbag. Her eyes met Richmond's, and he gasped.