The Grant~An IT Crowd Fanfiction

Standard First Day

"Oh no! Oh NO! Chicken in a—ROY!!!!"

"I'm almost there!"

"NO! NOT THE DEATH PUNCH! I HATE THE DEATH PUNCH!"

"YOU'RE GOING DOWN, MOSS!"

"I'VE STILL GOT MY POWER-UP! JUST LET ME GET TO THE PLATFORM—"

"PREPARE TO MEET YOUR END!"

"NOT SO FAST, ROY. MUSHROOM TIME!"

"AW, NO! NO NO NO NO NO!!!"

"HAHAHAHAAAAAAAA!" Moss set his controller in his lap and pointed a finger at Roy. "I win! You owe me a large popcorn and a ticket to the next Marvel movie!"

"Can't we do two out of three?" Roy whined.

"Let me have this, Roy. Let me have this."

"Boys!" Jen called, coming out of her office. "Could you maybe turn the PlayStation off? She's going to be down here any minute. We can't have her think this is all we do around here."

"Why not?" Roy asked. "If I was showing up for my first day, I would love to think that this is all we do around here."

"We haven't had a call since this morning, and it was from Roy's mum," Moss interjected.

"That's not true!" Jen scolded. "We did have that wrong number."

"Oh, yeah."

"Turn it off now and pretend to be doing something useful."

"This is useful!" Roy protested.

"Yes it is!" Moss added. "I just got a free ticket to the next Marvel movie AND a large popcorn! Now I finally have something to do this weekend."

There was suddenly a knock on the door. Jen jolted.

"That's her! That's her, everyone! Quick, turn off the PlayStation! Get to your desks!"

Moss and Roy did as they were told. Roy quickly put the phone to his ear and pretended to be talking to someone important, while Moss went to his black computer screen and feigned typing something on his keyboard.

"Alright, everyone!" Jen said nervously. "Now, just..." She was about to say 'pretend to be normal' but remembered how that had fared before, and decided against it. "Be nice?"

Roy and Moss glanced at each other, and Roy made a point of rolling his eyes.

The person on the other side knocked again, and Jen cleared her throat before opening the door.

Her face immediately fell.

"Hello," said the girl on the other side. "I'm Imogene Eklund. Is this IT?"

Jen slammed the door and backed away, her stomach growing queasy. Moss looked up at her curiously.

"Oh my God," Jen whispered. "Oh my God."

"What is it?" he asked.

"I knew it! I knew there was going to be a catch! No way would they give me someone completely normal. No way! How could I be so stupid?"

"Oh, no," said Roy.

"What is it?" Moss asked again.

"She's a..." Jen could barely get the words out. "She's a..."

"She's a what?" Roy asked.

"A murderer!" Moss whispered.

"SHE'S A NERD!" Jen wailed, flopping down on the couch.