A Different Divergent: Everyday Love

12

Chapter 12

I stand in the middle of one of the park's many small public restrooms, holding my precious 2-year-old daughter tightly against my chest. One hand is gripping her closely and the other is absentmindedly running up and down her back, trying to soothe her tears. My heart pounds painfully against my ribcage and a powerful wave of nausea crashes into me, threatening to knock me off my feet as my muddled brain tries to figure out what I just saw. I breathe deeply through my nose, trying to make the sick feeling in the pit of my stomach go away. I know without a doubt it can't be who I thought it was. It just can't. The bitch is locked up in the psychiatric wing of the city hospital on a mandatory, involuntary hold where she's been since shortly after she tried to kill me nearly two years ago. They wouldn't just let her out … would they? I can't bring myself to move thinking that maybe she's hiding just out of sight, ready to attack. I've got to protect my daughter.

"Olivia?" I croak again, something close to panic coursing through my veins. God, I hate how insecure she makes me feel even after all this time. I'm usually much stronger than this but it took a while but I now remember the feel of her blade slicing through my flesh not once but multiple times. I remember lying in the infirmary, fighting to keep my eyes open as Tobias begged me to stay with him. I remember nearly losing that battle. A shudder moves through me, and Tessa cries harder. "Sshh, baby girl! I got you."

"No, Tris, it's just me," Avery says as she prances through the open door and into the dimly lit restroom. She smiles sweetly at me and goes into an empty stall while I learn to breathe again. I'm still rooted in place when she comes out to wash her hands. "Who did you think I was?" When her eyes meet mine and she takes in my appearance, she frowns and concern lights her eyes. "Is something wrong?"

"I think I'm going to be sick," I mutter as my stomach churns again. "Take her." I shove Tessa into Avery's arms and rush into the nearest stall. Just as I lean over the toilet, everything I've eaten today comes rushing back out. Once the heaving stops, I let my head hang for a long moment, making sure I'm okay then flush the toilet. I walk to the sink, a little unsteady on my feet, and splash some cold water on my clammy face. I don't hear anything besides an odd rhythmic whooshing sound in my ears until Avery lays her hand on my shoulder.

"Tris! Should I go get Four? You're scaring me." I rinse my mouth out well then take Tessa into my arms, who has tears running down her face. My poor girl. I think she's worried about me.

"No, that isn't necessary," I say, trying to comfort my daughter but I'm still on edge and I'm sure she can feel the tension in my body. "Was someone just out there when you came in?" I'm trying to not totally freak out but something doesn't feel right about this situation. Am I nuts?

"No," she says, looking toward the empty doorway, confusion on her face. "There's no one out there. Are you sure you're okay? I think I should get Four." She takes a step toward the door but I stop her.

"I thought I saw someone I couldn't possibly have seen, Av," I mutter. A lot of that has been going on here lately as Oliver's face flashes through my mind. "I guess I'm just really tired and my mind is playing tricks on me."

"Who did you think you saw?" she asks, her concern for me visible on her pretty face.

"Nobody important," I mutter, embarrassed by my irrational reaction. Way to let your imagination run away with you, Tris! "Will you walk back over with me?" I ask as Tessa wraps her arms around my neck and presses her tear-stained cheek against mine. I run my hand up and down her back like I did when she was a baby, letting her know the only way I know how that everything is okay.

"Of course," she says. "Are you still feeling sick?"

"No, not at all," I say. "It came on all of a sudden and now it's gone."