A Different Divergent: Everyday Love

24

Chapter 24

"Excuse me?" I ask. I hear Tobias' muttering but his voice sounds robotic and a million miles away to my traumatized ears. "First trimester?" A strong sense of déjà vu washes over me as I sit on an examination table in the infirmary. I fight as hard as I can against the nervous laughter building inside but it rips from my lips anyway. I could be wrong but it just sounded like Zander told me I'm pregnant … in a very roundabout way but that's impossible. Tobias and I chose the IUD specifically so we wouldn't have another unplanned pregnancy. "What?" I look from Tobias who is leaning against the examination table, a mask of confusion covering his pale face to Zander.

"I'm sorry, guys. I should have been clearer a few minutes ago. I suspected anemia was the cause of your bruising, Tris, and your initial blood tests confirmed that diagnosis with low levels of both iron and folate. There are several causes of anemia but with you lacking those two specific compounds, I immediately suspected that you were pregnant. I ordered the urine sample and ran another blood test to confirm my suspicions, and the results came back positive. Congratulations! You're pregnant," he says, a wide smile on his face. Tobias and I don't respond, we just sit there, me anxiously laughing like a crazy person and him frozen and mute, now with his Four mask covering his face. I wonder how we look to Zander. After a moment he asks, "Are you two okay? This obviously has come as quite a shock."

"I think we need a minute," Tobias finally murmurs.

"Of course," he says, getting up off the rolling stool he sat down on as he delivered the life-altering news. "Take all the time you need. Just shoot me a text when you're ready to continue. We still need to do the initial prenatal examination and ultrasound."

"Thanks, Zander," Tobias says. I would say the same thing but I'm still tittering, lost inside my head.

Pregnant? But I'm on birth control. This can't be happening … not again! What exactly does this mean? Tobias doesn't even want another baby. He's been adamant about that for weeks now. I can't lose him. I won't lose him. What if he doesn't want this baby? What if he wants me to get rid of it? Could I do that? No! Absolutely not! This baby is a part of us. What if he hates me? What if he leaves me? I can't do this without him. These are the things running wildly and unrestrictedly through my head. I look up and find Tobias' steely gaze fixated on me. Panic constricts my chest, making it hard to breathe but I manage to keep my cool … just barely.

"Tell me, love, what are you thinking?" I look up and see Four and long for Tobias but I understand. This has come as quite a shock. I shake my head, unable or unwilling to answer. I'm not sure which. "Tris, we promised each other honesty. You can tell me anything. You know that."

"You don't want another baby," I murmur, barely above a whisper. Tears well up then slowly overflow my eyes as I voice my fear out loud. For a split second, his mask falters and agony flashes across his face. He cups my cheeks between his big, strong hands that have always taken such great care of me and wipes away the tears with his thumbs. I reach up and grasp his wrists, needing to anchor myself to him in this moment.

"My reservations have never ever been about having more children with you. Hell, we could single-handedly fill this faction with kids, and I'd be one happy sonofabitch. I love our kids more than anything. Well, except for you, of course." He softly presses his lips to mine. The kiss is tender, loving, and doesn't last nearly long enough.

"So, you're okay with this?" I softly ask. "You're not mad at me?" He lets his mask fall away, and I finally see everything he's feeling clearly written on his face: joy, pride, fear, cockiness. Of course! He's such a man!