Forever My Person

14. Not My Fault

Kyle

I've tried to move on, to think of someone else but she's always on my mind. We were planning our future together. I could see her barefoot and pregnant in our kitchen one day.

Letting her call off the wedding was a mistake and I regret not trying harder but she will be mine again.

Fuck.

I don't care what it takes to get her back. I just want her to love me again like the way I love her.

Yes I completely fucked up by being with her sister. She just doesn't get that I have needs. Needs that I thought she couldn't fulfill.

It's not my fault her sister showed up to our apartment. I can't help that Chelsea looked so damn good in that dress with those heels. Maybe if Ev wouldn't work so god damn much and actually had more time for me I wouldn't have fucked her sister. I mean I was her fiancé, soon to be husband for fuck sake. Ev didn't look at me the way her sister did. Just thinking about it makes me hard.

I sit and stare at the photo of us above our fireplace. It's one of my favorites. Our first vacation together after we graduated. We spent a week in Hawaii just me and her. Her smile is spread across her face while I hold her in my arms. We were about to go snorkeling and she was so excited.

She's beautiful.

That night after we got back to the hotel from the boat went to dinner. I wanted to surprise her so I lead her down to the beach a little ways from the resort. I still remember the small gasp she made when she saw the candle lit dinner I planned for us. I was nervous the whole dinner. We made light conversation while eating our delicious food but I couldn't handle it anymore. I reached for her hand I told her I loved her for the first time.

I replay that night in my head over and over. I've never stopped loving her. I will never stop loving her. She needs to understand she's mine.

Seeing her the other day at the Café made me think there could be another chance for me. Holding her hand made me feel special to her again. I crave her touch. I miss the way her body felt against mine. I need her with me . To feel her soft lips against mine. She may not want to talk to me now but It won't be hard to find her again. I'll make her realize she needs me in her life just like I need her.