Forever My Person

52. Unexpected

Everly

"Okay Ev our hour is almost up for today. I'm thinking with the process you making we can cut our sessions down to once every two weeks. Of course if you need a session in between there's no problem in that." She says crossing her ankles as she closes her notepad.

"You're getting tired of me already?" I joke with her.

"As your therapist I professionally say of course not but now as a friend maybe just a little bit." Dr. Amaya teases back.

It's been a total of two and half months since my very first session. I've sat in this same seat many times in the past couple of months.I know I'm nowhere near done with therapy though. There's been tons of good days and I've been able to break through the pain and misunderstandings I've been through. I owe it all to Amaya. At first we kept our relationship strictly professional and only talked in the office and the times I've talked to her over the phone. She kept her business and personal life outside the office for the most part but we soon realized we were pretty similar. We enjoyed the same things and were able to talk and connect more as friends.

I chuckle leaning further back into my seat. It feels good to know I've made progress. Progress that was fucking hard to get through but thanks to coming here and all the love and support everyone has giving me especially Cohen. He's been by my side since the beginning and has held my hand the whole time. He's been the absolute best through all of this. I know he blames himself. At first I did blame him. I felt as if he let Taylor come between us even after all the wrong she's done. I felt betrayed by him and that's one thing that was killing me besides what I went through. Amaya however let me see that yes, he was in the wrong but he didn't purposely try to put me in harms way he was trying to prevent the only way he could think of in a short amount of time. Little by little I've come to understand and forgive.

"The look on your face right now makes me feel like I just broke up with you Ev." She chuckles as she tilts her head to the side silently checking if I'm okay.

I let a puff of air go between my lips letting my body relax a little bit more. "It's just a bittersweet moment I guess I can describe it as. I actually feel like I've gotten through the worst parts of my life so far. They seemed to consume me and I wasn't sure if there was any hope but I found it here, with you."

I catch her wipe the corner of her eye as I look at her. Her smile shines bright and her eyes are glossy from tears.

"Stop crying. You're going to make me cry and I don't want to redo my make up." I laugh even though my throat feels like a ginormous lump is resting there.

"Oh shush, you know I'm a cry baby over certain things and especially people I care about. I'm just so proud of you Ev. I can tell you're doing better maybe even more then better. When you first came you were just a shell of the person you are now. You're no longer timid and scared.You are so strong and brave and even if you didn't think you were you've been those things through this whole process. I'm so glad I've gotten to know you and help you and I'm so happy to be able to call you a friend." Hearing her say those sweet things makes me feel so happy. I was pretty apprehensive about talking to someone about all my insecurities, the hell I've been through and the heart break with the man of my dreams. I didn't want to be judged and sitting down talking about myself isn't something I like to do. It's weird. It's awkward but I'm so happy I did it and now I have a pretty good friend from it too.

"Okay so now all that mushy stuff is out of the way and you have about five minutes left of this session tell me what's been going on with you and Cohen. Every time you think of him you have the biggest smile now. So tell me what's been going on." She sits up straighter in her chair and I see her lean a little closer ready for me to spill.