Forever My Person

40. Will Always Be Mine

Everly

The absolute worst feeling is the feeling of betrayal by the person you love with all your heart.

I'm not sure what hurts most, the fact that he broke up with me or how he betrayed me with every single word he's told me. In all the emotions that my heart is trying to carry I feel deep in my gut that he truly didn't want this. He didn't want to break up with me. He didn't want to leave me but he did.

I'm empty. A hallow of the woman I've been trying to build these past couple of months. But what scares me completely is that I feel so much worse now than after I caught Kyle and Chelsea in my bed. I was broken but right now in this very moment I am shattered. Every single piece of my heart is in tiny fragments scattered around the house, our house; his house now. My heart began to shatter when her voice shrilled through his phone. But I what I'd didn't know was in just a short time the other pieces were about to break piece by piece. First when he muttered those words when sat on the bed. The bed we made sweet love on numerous times. The bed where I felt the safest in his arms. The next piece fell when I made my way into the bathroom and had to figure out where to go since my home was no longer my home anymore. I sat on the toilet seat staring at the tub where we just made love the night before, where he told me he wanted me to be his wife and have a life with him. Yet another fell when I began to pack my bags and he not once stopped me. But I think my heart completely fell apart when he held me and I could feel his hot tears rolling down his face and staining my skin and the slight shake he had when he put his arms around me. If he truly didn't want this would he have been torn?I keep asking myself that question repeatedly.

My mind is constantly going, thinking of how did we get here and what do I do now? How did I manage to get hurt twice, twice in one year? These thoughts keep me up at night and usually all day. When I do get sleep its very little. Once my eyes shut beautiful hazel eyes appear but the words "I can't do this." interrupt their beauty. These past few days have been excruciatingly long and full of tears and used tissues thrown about the room.

I lay on my left side in bed watching the sun setting through the partially closed blinds of the window. The day is almost over reminding me that another sleepless night is coming.

"Is she still in there? She hasn't come out at all?" I hear familiar voices whisper under the door.

"No she's been in there ever since that night. She won't talk to me and she barley eats anything. This isn't like her. I'm so worried Avery." I can hear how upset my sister is with every word she speaks.

"This is way worse then the break up with Kyle. God, I'm going to kick Cohen's ass when he comes back." She hisses.

Hearing his name for the first time makes me wince as if someone stabbed me with a knife. The pain that's radiating through my body might as well be from that. It hurts so badly.

"I've talked to Wyatt and he said Cohen hasn't been himself. He's been distant and cold to everyone. He only talks if he has to. He's worried that he won't be focused on the game tomorrow." Chelsea says.

"For someone who ended things you would think he wouldn't be like that. Liam said before we left on thanksgiving he felt something off with Cohen like something changed but he doesn't know why." I hear Avery voice back.

Everything about that day was off.

"What do you mean? Like we're they talking and he mentioned something or was he just acting differently?"

"Liam said he was on his phone the whole time they were sitting on the couch while Ev and I were cleaning up the kitchen.Maybe his manager said something to him that he didn't like or maybe something on social media that we don't know about?"