Most of us are hurting
Most of us are searching
Someone to love
Someone to understand
Most the time I'm fighting
Multiple voices residing
In my head
Then there's you
You bring silence to my violent truth
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...In a perfect world You're understanding I'm not a perfect girl
I can't believe I'm really about to do this, I thought as my finger lingered on Herberts blocked number.
I just got off the phone with my mother and I got to talk to my babygirl before she went to sleep. After I told her goodnight me and my mom had a long talk and she told me that it would be best to let Herbert know that he is my daughters father, that having a father is something every child wants and needs and I could never take his place in her life.
I don't want my daughter growing up, not knowing who her father is because of my hurt. I don't want her looking for her father in other men. And I most definitely don't want her to miss out on having her father around because I know that if he knew about her, he would've been a good father
When I was pregnant, I was so blinded by my pain and hurt that I didn't want him apart of anything that was about me, my pregnancy, my baby, and especially my family. If I could go back in time, I would've changed my decision because now everything is coming back to bite me in my fat ass.
He's happy with his girlfriend, they're having a baby together and now here I am about to call him up and like, 'hey did i ever tell you that we have a 3 year old together, yeah isn't the weather nice outside too'
I feel stupid, I feel like he won't believe me and that once he finds out that this isn't a joke, he's not gonna want to be apart of her life.
My daughter is sadly just like me, she's like a mini version of me. The same attitude, she's chubby just like me, acts like she runs everything like me and she definitely fights all the time like me. As far as her father, she looks just like him, with a hint of me and she's goofy like him.
Taking a deep breath, I unblocked his number and called him. I stood from my bed, pacing back and forth hoping that he wouldn't answer the phone.
"Hello?" His deep raspy voice called out, causing my heart to pound harder then ever. I could hear people and music in the background so I knew he was in the studio.
"Hey... um this is Raven. I was just calling because I have to tell you something important." I said, feeling a lump form in my throat as I sighed.
"I got some time, wassup."
"I'm just going to come out and say this, you're probably gonna be mad at me but I need to get this off my chest. Like you I've done something messed up and I regret it now because I'm hurting myself. We have a 3 year old daughter named Paris and I know you're probably..."
