New Balance

18.

Continuation...

Raven

"Before you start, I don't want to argue with you. I know that I'm wrong. I know that I shouldn't have kept Paris away from you, but what I won't tolerate is you popping up on me to make me feel worst than I already do. If you think you're gonna come up in here and call me a bitch this and a bitch that you can leave now." I said, taking a seat.

"Bro you really outta ya mind, how you gon hide my child away from me." He said, looking at me like he was disgusted.

"Do you really think I wanted to keep our daughter away from you. That was never the plan, you made me do this, you forced my hand. At the time, I didn't want you anywhere near me or my child." I said, as he laughed.

"That don't make what you did fucking right. I don't even know lil mama name and you coming at me 2 years later like I gotta daughter. She probably not even mine." He said

"I'm not gonna sit here and listen to you deny my daughter. You want a dna test fine, but other than that you can leave my house because I'm not bout to sit here and listen to this." I got up out of my seat and walked towards my door, opening it for him.

"You can leave." I rolled my eyes, watching him get up and walk like he was about to leave.

"Nah, you gonna tell me why the fuck you sat up in my face and lied." He shoved me out of the way, slamming my door as he leaned up against it.

"I don't gotta explain myself to NO FUCKING BODY! Get out of my house before you make me blow up on you because I'm trying my hardest right now, not to hit you." I said, as I stood in front of him, leg shaking and all.

"Man, what you wanna do? Shake some shit then." And that's all it took for me to start swinging at him, I was really giving it to him, until he grabbed my hands and pushed me up against the door, pushing his body against mine. "Why tf you lie."

"GET OFF OF ME!!" I screamed, as tears began to pour out of my eyes. I wasn't crying because I was upset I was just so frustrated. I just wanna go to sleep and think about this tomorrow.

"You gotta tell me something, I missed 2 years of my child life cause of this shit. Just tell me the truth?" He said, and I just stopped fighting him.

"You hurt me, you had me sitting in your fucking face believing everything you told me and it all ended up being a lie. You wanna talk about how you missed out on Paris growing up and you caused this. You fucking broke me okay. That's what you wanna hear right, you told me to let my guard down and let you in and I did. For what? So that I would look stupid. You had me out here thinking we were fine and then you cheat on me with my best friends sister." I cried, pushing him away from me as I wiped my eyes.

"You... you out of all people know that I had the biggest guard around my heart and that was because I never wanted to feel like this but here I am, looking like a dumb ass crying over someone who doesn't care about me and doesn't even realize what you did wrong." I said, watching him sit down again with his head in his hands.

"Raven, I lov..."

"Don't you even fucking say it. You wanted to know why I did it right so here you go, I felt like I was stabbed in the back by someone who was suppose to love me, we had just lost a baby and I thought that we were working on getting ourselves together, but I was wrong. You know that sad thing is, you use to fuck her and come home to me and cuddle like everything was okay and I was fucking hurt so I left. I didn't tell you about your daughter because I didn't want to be around you. Selfish? Yes but now I'm here telling you I was wrong and I want you to be in her life." I sighed

"I'm sorry baby for all the hurt that I cost u and I fucking wish I was perfect but I'm not. I screwed up and I'm tired of seeing you hurt. You think I like to see you cry man, that shit hurt me too cause I genuinely care for you. No matter fucking what you mine and I been fucked up without you. You the only female that could ever fill this spot in my heart and I fucked that up. I'm sorry man." He said, grabbed my hand and pulling me into a hug.

He kept whispering to me that he was sorry and that he didn't mean to break my heart and that he wanted ya to work out and  a part of me felt happy because he apologized and then another part of me was like don't believe anything he say, fuck him.

"There is nothing to work out, the only thing we ever need to communicate about is Paris." And I had made me decision that there could be no more us, he had a baby on the way with another woman and it was time for me to let him go.

After talking to him more about when Paris was coming home, he left and as I locked the door, I couldn't help but feel stupid because deep inside I still love him...