New Balance

06.

When i first laid eyes on you and i heard your heartbeat too... i never knew i could witness a angel so beautiful. #HeavenAurora

"daddy that doesn't go there." i heard raegan scoff loudly, causing me to open my eyes.

"then where it go, ain't no more pieces left." i sat up and saw a white crib in the middle of my room. Plastic wrap and more boxes filled my room, causing me to scrunch my face up.

"what's going on?" Raegan and Keraun looked at me, with bright smiles but my face was still scrunched up.

"SURPRISE!" raegan yelled out, throwing the plastic in the air like it was confetti.

"Keraun what is this?" i questioned again, getting out of my bed to see that he brought Heaven a swing, crib, a bo bo crush and a lot of clothes. "you need to bring all of this back."

"whatchu mean? we went out and got something's for Heaven so you won't be feeling unprepared." he stood up with Heaven in his arms.

"i didn't ask you for any of this. i don't want your charity so bring all of this back." i grabbed heaven out of his arms, walking towards my kitchen.

i wasn't trying to come off as unappreciative but i didn't want him buying heaven anything because i don't want to depend on him for things that i should be getting. Maybe i'm overreacting because i don't want to get so attached to him to the point where he thinks it's okay for him to just go out and buy my daughter things whenever she wants them . I don't need anything from anyone, i can get my daughter anything she wants and or needs.

"you ight... i don't know what's wrong with you right now but ya attitude not cutting it. i'm just tryna he.." i turned around

"that's the point, i don't want your help, i'm not some charity case." i yelled at him, making raegan cling onto his leg, i shook my head.

Raegan slowly walked over to me, "i just wanted you to be happy." a tear slid down her face, i sighed, reaching for her but Keraun swooped her into his arms, walking past me and towards the door.

"i don't know if you need a nap or a fucking snicker but i'm not about to deal with this bipolar shit." he slammed the door, leaving me with a now awake and cranky baby.

A Couple Of Hours Later...

After getting Heaven down for her nap, i called Raven and asked her to come over so i wouldn't be alone. She was helping me throw all the empty baby boxes away and she was helping me with the baby. We were sitting in the living room and i was explaining everything that happened.

"even though you didn't want to come off as unappreciative, that's what it sounds like you were. to be honest with you, you sound real stupid. you trust him enough to allow him to take care of Heaven when you're sleeping and you trust him enough to be in the NICU with her but you can't put your pride aside to accept help. If i were him, i would've took everything i brought back. He was willing enough to use his own money to help you out and you basically turned around and spit in his face." Hearing her say that, made me feel worse than i already made myself feel.

i've been texting and calling him since this morning and he won't answer me

"i." i rolled my eyes at Raven, who wasn't even paying attention to me. "your not even listening to me."

"i'm not, you did this to yourself. you always do that, you push people away and then expect them to reach out to you first. it's not happening this time." she laughed, going back to her phone. "you done met your match."

"i know and i said i was sorry, he's not answering me." i pouted, slouching back on the couch. "raegan's not even answering me... ohh call her for me." i bounced back up, smiling sweetly at her.

"noooooo, today is Friday and empire comes on. you not about to make her mad at me and ruin our Friday night." she shook her head while i sighed deeply.

"i'm not, i just wanna talk to her."

she threw her phone at me and i immediately face-timed raegan, "if she don't answer her phone tonight, i'm beating ya ass." she warned me, i waved her off seeing that it was connecting.

Her face popped up and once she saw it was me, she hung up. "Raven, she hung up on me." she laughed, i passed her phone back and rubbed my forehead, feeling frustrated.

i just didn't want him to feel like Heaven's his responsibility, i didn't mean to yell at him or make him feel like what he does isn't appreciated because it is.

"ouuuuu." raven laughed, jumping up and down. "you gonna be pissed now." she passed me her phone and when i saw the picture, i nodded my head. "you mad." she laughed, following me towards the back.

kingkeraun find somebody who appreciate you

a couple of weeks ago, i on purpose by accident blocked her on his account because she was putting all these heart eyes under his pictures and i wasn't feeling it. Long story short he found out and let me know that she wasn't just a random chick, she's his best friend.

"i see what we doing now, 2 can definitely play this game." i mumbled, taking heaven out of her new crib, trying to focus on something else