Colder than ice

'I don't know if you feel the same as I do'

'So, you met in school?' She questions, looking between us. This is the nearest we've been to one another in weeks, yet it feels like we are miles apart. She could be in Australia and I could be here, and it still wouldn't feel as far as the distance between us. She's looking at the window, staring straight through the window. It's not like you can see much from this angle, she just doesn't want to look at her, she doesn't want to deal with us. She's resigned to the fact that we are over, and we can't rekindle the past. She wants to move forward, or so she tells everyone.

The room feels cold, maybe it's just me. I stare over at the window, taking in the landscape. These days, it's all I seem to-do. When I'm thatching roofs, it can be quite exhilarating to stand there and look out and see everything. I tried to get Di to come with me once, she wasn't having any of it. I begged and pleaded, and she came down once and she climbed up seven steps. I've never really understood why people were scared of heights. I used to tease her, laughing at her because she's so scared. That ended months ago, every time I teased her she bit my head off. Eventually I gave up. There's only so many times you can try. I'm not just doing it for me, I'm doing it for Maddie and Theo. They don't deserve to have their lives turned upside down because of an accident.

I sometimes wish I was their age again, not because I've had a bad life, but I miss the carelessness of those days. There weren't really any worries, my parents were solid until I finished school. I want to be able to give Maddie and Theo the same thing. She hates me, but surely, she can't hate our kids. I know it's affecting them, more than they let on. I miss the flutter of excitement when someone would send a note around the friendship group during a lesson reading, 'Got some V b @ mine 8? You knew when you got that, you were in for a mad night, 7 minutes in heaven, followed by truth and dare, spin the bottle and if you were lucky, beer pong, depending on how much you had. It dawns on me, that I haven't had vodka in nearly two decades. It seems like an awfully long time, but I eventually moved from vodka to wine. It doesn't feel that long, saying that the last ten years feel like ten weeks. I don't know how my life has managed to fall apart in such a small space of time.

Before I knew it, those days were gone, the days when things were so much simpler, when my biggest problem was trying to hide a hickey from my parents or getting a dodgy school report. Now I'm having to do tax returns and meal planning.

I still feel like that child, I don't know what I'm doing. I'm having to pretend to be an adult, it turns out its much harder than it seemed when I was 13. When I was thirteen, I didn't have to deal with this. Everything was much simpler. She speaks, dragging me back into reality.

'We met when we were 12.' She replies, 'I had moved over in the summer and I joined Joe's school.' She tells the woman, not really revealing much more about it. 'We became friends during that year.' She nods slowly, writing something down.

'Do you remember how you felt meeting him?' She shakes her head, but her eyes give her away. I can tell she's lying. I can remember every moment from the day she walked into the form with our head of year. I know she can remember too, she's just trying to hide this. She doesn't want this to be a success, she's told me that. She agreed to it, but she told me, in the car, that she knows how this is going to end, with us divorcing. 

A/N Thoughts?