Colder than ice

'Weep little lion man, you're not as brave as you were at the start'

Sunday 29th March 2038.

'How was it?' My daughter asks, climbing into the passenger seat. 'Thanks for this.' I smile at her, taking a moment to study her face. She looks so much like her, yet she looks so different. She's grown up a lot, since the idea of a divorce has been put forward. I hear her crying sometimes, and I know that we are part of that. 'Dad?' A sigh leaves my mouth.

'About what I thought.' I tell her honestly, there's no point lying. 'How was Lucy's?' She just shrugs.

'It was okay.' She's slumped down in her seat. 'Everyone is still asleep, but I wanted to go to dance.' She tells me, as we drive the ten-minute drive to the studio. 'It's better than being at home.' I smile weakly.

'I'm sorry love.' She shakes her head,

'It isn't you.' I smile sadly.

'Would it be better if we got a divorce?' She shakes her head furiously. 'You know that if this doesn't work, that's what's happening.' We are all aware of that, yet Dianne is the only one who seems to want it. Theo will be off to uni, hopefully, in September and it will just be Maddie at home, she's told me that she would live with me and not her mum. I tell her that Dianne would be heartbroken, she disagreed, telling me that mum wouldn't even notice. I don't bother fighting that issue, because we both know that she is right.

'No.' She looks down at her hands. 'I really don't want you too.' She sighs.

'I promise you Maddie, I am trying. But this might not work, it's a last resort.' She nods, knowing the score.

'Teddy and I were talking yesterday.' She trails off.

'Nice to hear that.' I grin, she grins back at me. A little joke we've had since she was little. Her grin is identical to mine.

'Anyway, we were gonna ask you if we can stay at grandads.' I nod slowly, turning the radio down a little. 'He said that we could stay anytime, if we needed it, and Theo will drive me.' I pause, unsure what to say, she decides to go into more depth. 'I don't like the silence.'

'Okay.' I tell her. 'Okay, have you spoken to grandad?' She nods.

'He said you're more than welcome to come too.' I shake my head, I'm trying to make this work. If I go to his, it will be my way of resigning myself to the fact that this is the end of our relationship, something I don't want to go until I have too.

'I'll pick you up after dance, and you can get your stuff you need, and you can go then.' I pause. 'I'll call Teddy and tell him.' She nods, hopping out the car.

'I love you dad.' She shouts, as the door slams shut.

'Not nearly as much as I love you.' I whisper, our old school routine, old habits die hard. Dianne is gone when I get home, Teddy is in the kitchen, making breakfast. 'Morning.' I say, as he turns around stunned.

'Hey dad.' He takes the spoon of Nutella out of his mouth. 'Mum has gone out.'

'I didn't see you last night?' He shrugs.

'I was with Jake.' I nod, not sure if I believe it, but I'm not going to push the issue.

'Maddie was telling me that you want to go to Grandad's.' He nods.

'Not for long.' He reassures me, as I shrug. 'Everything here is just so.' He trails off, I get what he means. 'It's not home, not at the moment.'

'I'll pick her up from dance, and then you can go.' He nods, giving me a hug. 'I'm so sorry for everything.' I apologise to him. 'Really I am.' He lets go of me. 'I'll take you to the applicant day on Wednesday.'

'You remembered?' I nod.

'Of course, I did.'

'What did mum say.' I don't answer. 'The usual then.' He walks off to his room. Soon it's four o'clock and I'm saying goodbye to the kids, telling them to text me. They love staying at their grandparents, and we used to like the nights to ourselves. Tonight, I'm not feeling it. I don't want it to be just us. We don't have anything to say to one another anymore. 'I'll send your love to grandad.' Teddy says, picking up the sport holdall that Maddie has left on the floor. 'I'll meet you in the car Maddie. Love you dad.' I smile back, giving him a hug, as Maddie comes running into the living room.

'Got everything?' I grin, as she nods.

'I'll see you soon dad. Love you.' I grab her in tight, as I watch Teddy's car leave the front of the house, watching it drive off down the road. We've lived here since Maddie was born, the house hasn't changed very much, our kids have though. Sometimes I have to double take, they aren't really children anymore, they aren't adults anymore. They are in that blurred bracket, sometimes I think Dianne and I forget that. We treat them like an adult, forgetting that they aren't actually adults. I have begged her to put the divorce on hold until Maddie graduates' school, only another two years. She won't have it.

She comes home at 7, I've cooked dinner. We sit in silence whilst we eat the spagbol. It's not a patch on hers, but she doesn't really cook anymore. 'Did you save some for the kids?' She asks, looking at me.

'No, they've gone to my dad's.' I answer her, as her face falls, almost like she's sad. It's the most emotion I've seen all week. Her face quickly changes again. 'Why the hell did you do that?' She says, her voice is icy.

'Because they wanted to go.' I tell her, deciding not to sugar coat it. 'They don't want to be around us Dianne.' I use her name, I haven't called her Dot in months. 'They are sick of the silence in the house. We are affecting them too.' I take a sip of the cold water, it's cold but it's not as icy as her voice.

'Well what do you want me to-do about it.' She is yelling now, 'What the hell do you want me to do Joseph?'

'I want you to try.' I say coolly, 'and maybe not resign yourself to the idea that you are leaving me.' She storms off, slamming her bedroom door. It's something I would have expected off the kids, not my wife. Though at the moment, I'm not even sure what I am expecting. I send a text to my dad,

To: Dad: Hey, give the kids my love and tell them I miss them.

Dad: I will.

I know this is the right thing for them, being away from all the drama. They shouldn't have to watch our marriage fall to pieces, even I don't want to watch that. It's like a nightmare that I can't wake up from. I adore Dianne, and I just hope I can make this work. 

A/N thoughts?