Colder than ice

'Temperature inside me, haven't felt it for a lifetime'

Monday 5th April 2038

'Don't sweat it don't.' Joe reassures her, 'the kids will be fine.' She shakes her head, 'I promise you, we might be met with a few moans, but they will be happy.' Her heart is beating far too quickly, and she's worried she might pass out. She knows that she will have to face them at some point, but she would rather not do it today.

'But I was an arsehole to all of you.'

'Don't stress yourself out darling.' As if on que, there is a sound of roaring and then it cuts out. A signal that the kids are back. Joe grabs her hand. 'I promise.' He mouths, as the sound of the door echoes throughout the house. 'It will be okay.'

Joe can hear whispers from behind the door, as he smiles at Dianne. She lays her head down on his shoulder, something that they used to do, before all of this drama. 'Hey dad.' A voice shouts, as the door opens. The voice stops, looking at the pair. He looks at his daughter, smiling at her bemused smile. She stands awkwardly by the door, as the boy comes and joins his sister.

'Oh' Dianne looks up, and they can see that she had been crying. Neither of them said anything, not quite understanding the situation. Joe motions for them to sit down.

'Can I get changed first?' Matilda questions, as he nods. Before long, they are all sitting around the sofa. Had this been a year ago, this would have been normal. They would have been watching some trash on telly. Joe and Dianne would be curled up on the sofa, the kids taking the chairs around the side. Expect, this is now and not a year ago. Everything has changed, they are all very different people.

They sit in silence for a few minutes, each of them deep in thought, as sky news plays in the background. Joe is thinking about how this is going to work, he has reassured his wife that the kids will be fine with it. He's promised her that they will be made up, not that he believes it. He wants too, but he's not sure what is going to happen. He doesn't know if they will just fall back into place. In fact, he knows they won't. It won't be that simple, there's a Ruby shaped heart missing from everywhere. There is an empty bed in Maddie's room. None of them want to remove it, he knows that Maddie lays in it sometimes. They had offered the pair of them separate rooms, but they were best friends, and they didn't want to. A decision that shocked both Joe and Dianne.

Dianne was thinking of the baby growing inside of her. She wanted to make it work with Joe, the baby deserved that. It deserved to have a life with Joe and Dianne, where they didn't hate one another. At first, she wanted to terminate it, but she couldn't. She was worried about it replacing Ruby. Ruby would never go away, not that she wanted her too. She just wanted it to hurt a little less. This baby would be a fresh start for all of them, it was unplanned. The timing could not be worse if it tried, but for some reason she felt okay about it.

Theo was thinking about his exams, he was nervous. He was glad that he had the distraction of his exams, it gave him something to focus on. He was worried about post-exams, he would have bags of time on his hands. When it was Ruby's turn, she spent the time going to parties and going out. He had looked forward to that, but now he didn't want to upset his parents. He knew that they would be out of their mind with worry, and he was worried about going to parties and clubs. His friends always invited him, but now he wasn't sure if he could face it. None of them pressured him though, they all knew the situation. He was thankful for that.

Maddie was thinking about why they were sitting there, it was nice them all being in the same room. This hadn't happened in a while, Dianne would always make excuses as to why she couldn't be there. It made her angry, she knew she missed Ruby, but she wasn't the only one. They all missed her, they were all suffering. She had always been there, whether it was from the monsters under the bed, when she would climb into bed with her sister, to getting her first period when Dianne was away with work or even the night before she left they laid in her bed, just like they had done when they were little, and talked about life, their hopes and their dreams. They shared everything with one another, from losing their virginities, to their aspirations for the future. All the hopes and dreams that Ruby wouldn't be able to do.

'So.' Dianne draws them all out of their thoughts, studying her children's faces. She can see so much of herself in her kids. She hasn't been able to look at them properly, but it occurs to her how much they have changed over the last nine months. The moment they found out about Ruby, everything changed. It has taken her nine months to realise that Maddie has dyed her hair, from the soft brown colour to dip dying it blonde at the ends. 'I like your hair.' She tells her daughter, smiling. She's met with a smile.

'Thank you, Lucy helped me.'

'She did a very good job.' Joe smiles at her. I'm sorry kids.' She's met with blank eyes, she doesn't expect anything less. 'I am really sorry. I don't have an explanation.' She bites her lip. 'Thank you for making me go to therapy with your dad.' Theo smiles a little, sitting up a little straighter. 'I was selfish, it wasn't just me who lost a daughter, you guys lost a sister and your dad lost a daughter.'

'It's okay mummy.' Her daughter says, edging nearer her mum. She hasn't called her mum mummy since she was in primary school. 'Are you divorcing dad still?' She questions. 'Because I really don't want that.' She can hear her daughters voice cracking. She motions for her to come and sit next to her, pulling her into a hug. She smells the familiar scent of strawberry shampoo that she insists on using. She hasn't hugged either of her children since the night after the funeral, where she sat on the sofa with Maddie, unsure of who was consoling who. She wasn't sure if it was true, but it felt as if she had grown in those months.

'No.' She chokes out. 'We are going to make this work.' She promises her. 'Its been awful for the pair of you, and I'm so lucky your dad hasn't given up.' Joe squeezes her hand, as Theo perches on the side of the sofa, next to his sister. 'We have to get used to the new normal.' She pauses for breath.

'We have to get used to living without Ruby.' Joe butts in. 'The five of us.'

'There's four of us.' Maddie says, turning around looking at her dad. 'Dad are you going senile?' She jokes, smirking a little bit. Theo stares between his mum and dad, looking at the way they are sitting, not that it's giving anything away. Joe watches him play out the scenario in his mind.

'Congratulations?' He questions, looking at his sister who is giving him a confused look. 'Mum and dad are having a baby.' Maddie sits up, almost like she's jumping away from her mum, staring at the pair of them. When she was little, she had always wanted a baby sibling, something she didn't think she would get at the age of nearly sixteen. She smiles brightly.

'Is it true?' Joe can hear the hint of excitement in her voice, something he hasn't heard since they announced they were going to Disneyland a few weeks before Ruby left for uni. Their last family holidays. Dianne nods slowly. 'Oh my god, when?'

A/N Thoughts?  And keep your suggestions coming in, boy or girl? And any name suggestions? I think I have a name but I'm not 100% sure on them yet..... Anyway hope you like it :)