catharsis.

day /05.

I saw ' a star is born' today, and all I could think of was how much you told me you liked it.

in a way, I guess jackson maine sort of reminded me of you. the musician type, the kind with a void in his soul and a chip on his shoulder from his dad. especially the part where he admitted to trying to hang himself from the ceiling fan.

so I sat on the couch. thought of the dreams we stopped chasing. thought of the way we you stopped trying. thought of how we let life do to us everything we swore it wouldn't.

do you think about it too? the dream you've given up, the one you let life beat out of you? the one where you're on a big stage playing to a huge crowd, and you finally get to prove anyone who didn't believe in you wrong. the one where you travel the world and do what you love, but come home to me at the end of the day.

do you? because I do.

if there's one thing I hate about life, it's that it took that light in your eyes away.

but who knows, maybe one day you'll find it again. maybe one day you'll be selling out stadiums and seeing everything you've ever wanted to see and singing your heart out to people, and you'll know that all the bullshit you've been through was worth it, just as long as it was what got you here.

and maybe, just like the movie, you'll meet someone else. and she'll put a fire in your soul unlike any other.

unlike me.

and while I watch from my television screen, you'll write song after song after song about her, kiss her after every show, and hold her in your arms at the end of the day. by then, will you even remember the girl you loved when you were seventeen? will you even remember me?

I suppose not.

after all, if I wasn't worth a song when I was with you, then I sure won't be worth a song long after I'm gone.