inevitable

three

you.

the cause of everything i've done.

even as i remove all traces of you,

your scent—

of cold office rooms

and of your sweet cologne

lingers in the air.

how do i get rid of it?

—

i found the answer.

to avoid thinking about you, and to remove your smell.

i grabbed my wallet and took a deep breath.

—

walking outside still a mess, in my grey sweatpants and crumpled t-shirt, i only have one clear destination in my mind:

get cheap perfume.

it's not a perfect solution.

but with my mind still (somehow) filled with you, it's what i can manage.

i walked to the store, ignoring stares.

grabbing one bottle, i quickly walked to the cashier

only to be greeted with an ad of

your

perfume line.

everywhere i go...

i can't escape you.

this,

is torture at the highest level.

the wound in my heart

caused by you

can never heal,

as i see you everywhere i go.

the flowers i passed

on the way to the store,

their soft petals

remind me of you,

your touch,

your soft lips on mine,

every time we held hands,

and it hurts so damn much.

—

when can i escape you?

when is the universe going to allow me to let go?

when will i be able to forget?

—

why can't i remove my memories of you

as easily as you did with mine?

—

everything you did

all the so-called "effort" you put into our relationship

was it all truly

f a k e ?

—

for now i am floating,

in an atmosphere of sadness,

and the clouds are blue,

my vision is blue,

but you are not blue.

and when reality

p
u
l
l
s

me back to the ground

all i see is you

and the color blue.

—

i managed,

barely,

to get the perfume.

—

but your sweet smile

your

heavily doctored sweet smile

is what i see everytime i close my eyes.

even with you gone,

you still haunt my dreams.

— k