inevitable

six

i run.

forever fleeing from those veering eyes

critical

judgemental

cruel

like human nature itself.

like me.

but then again

.
.
.

when have humans ever not been selfish?

__

something within me gives way

like a

snap

from the string of a guitar

like a

crunch

of those fragile leaves we stepped on

that autumn day

filled with laughter and smiles

a joy like no other

a day where you clutched onto my shivering hands

held me like i was your world

and yours

alone.

__

i knew

and perhaps

i had known all along.

when those days had

blurred

and memories had

faded

that my time had

stopped

and

died

along with you

on that fateful day.

and now...

now

the weight

of my

sins.

leaves me empty.

like

pressure

building

and building

and then

exploding.

i break.

and the shards of my heart

hurt and jaded

crumble away

never to be fixed again.

__

i gave up on that day

when those fateful words

had left my lips.

'i should go.'

__

i sob quietly into my coffee cup.

i see you

staring.

i pretend not to

notice.

head down

shoulders bowed

ah.

this is the first time you've ever seen me like this, right?

a someone

that

isn't

perfect.

not like in that perfect fairytale of yours.

and i wonder

have you already

moved on?

forgotten about me?

'how curious...'

—

can you hear it?

hear the sound of heartbreak?

it's terrible

it really is

but somewhere deep down

i know i deserve it.

__

                               —L.