The girl who left
I wish I could put into words how much time I spent missing you. I wish I could still reach out to you every day and hear your same giggle, your same "stop a touching me". I wish I could say life got in the way, but it didn't. You just left, you left this town, the memories, the pals you made, the family you had, you left and didn't think twice. You didn't care to tell me. We had plans to say goodbye and you didn't care.
Maybe I'm just jealous of you. Jealous that you were able to leave so freely, jealous that you can live a life of feeling free, that you could leave a town as small as this. Anyone could leave though, but not everyone has to leave behind the memories. You walked out and left them crumpled in a corner of your mind.
I wish I could say I didn't still miss you. I wish I could say I was angry, but I can't. Getting over anger is so much easier to me than getting over something that's not there at all. All I have left are the memories, the pictures, and the occasional conversation I have with the you that seems like you're back to normal.
Maybe one day you'll come back, and we'll be able to be pals again. Laughing at each other's dumb jokes and sayings. But maybe that's just the naive side of my mind thinking. I wish I wasn't so naive, not when it came to you. I wish I hadn't had put so much love into our friendship, because all it did was set me up to forgive you, over and over again.
I hope you at least enjoy your life there. Enjoy your boyfriend, the amazing photos you take, your place of work, enjoy the vacation you get from this small town of hell. I hope you enjoy seeing your old pals pictures together, we created something of us together without you and we'll do fine, even if it won't be the same as it was with you.
And just so you know, pal is still on the bridge.
