Reasons To Try |Completed|

Chapter 9

The small unborn piece of me that had now fully left my body still brought tears to my eyes every time I thought about it. Matt still didn't know I lost the baby and Mike and Josh never even knew I had gotten pregnant. The girls, of course, were oblivious to the entire situation. What kind of parent would I be if they knew half of what had been going on the last couple months?

It's been almost two weeks since the miscarriage and I can honestly say that it brought a new meaning to life. I have been spending every moment I can with the girls. I have tried to make it so that the guys don't come, well Ian is fine, I mainly mean Josh and Matt. I just don't want to deal with them right now so I just keep avoiding both of them. Cassy and Maddy have started to pick up on my feelings toward Matt and Josh and they have been showing a small amount of negativity towards them. In fact, now that I think of it more closely, they have been that way with all the men in their lives. Their teacher said that they have suddenly become disruptive and disobedient for the EA, a male, but they have been perfect for their main teacher, a female. They have even started to pull away from Ian, though I have shown them that he is the one man they can always trust.

I was at the beach with the girls, around dinner. We were just getting our things together to go home and eat. Cassy and Maddy were playing tag and Maddy bumped into another man accidentally.

The man looked down and smiled. "Oops, careful there little lady." He told her jokingly. He seemed pleasant.

Instead of apologizing to the man, Maddy just pushed him away and ran back toward me. I gave her the look of disapproval. "Hey, you need to go back to that man and tell him sorry. You don't push people." I told her.

She glared at me. "No, I don't want to!" She told me. She was firm with the voice she used while speaking.

I was shocked but acted quickly. "You get your body over there and say sorry right now young lady!" I told her with my own firm voice. She just stood there staring at me. I grabbed her hand and walked her over to the man. I looked down at her and gave her the best mom look I could. "What do you have to say to this gentleman Maddy?" I asked her, hoping she would just come right out and say sorry. But instead, she just glared at me silently.

Cassy came over and held my hand. "She doesn't wanna talk to a boy." She told me as if it were obvious.

The man looked me up and down and then smiled. "It's fine miss. She doesn't wanna talk to strangers, I know she's sorry. No harm no foul, right?" He asked, then he just walked away. Thanks for all the support in parenting my kids! He could have at least given me another minute or so.

I groaned in slight frustration. I looked down at Maddy. "I don't know what your problem is, young lady, but whatever it is, you need to figure it out and get over it! You do not have the right to be pushing people and you most certainly do not have the right to ignore me or tell me no. So the next time I tell you to do something, you need to do it!" I told her.

Maddy gave me that same hard glare. Then her face suddenly softened and she looked innocently. "I don't wanna talk to boys if you don't, mommy."

I gave her a confused look. "I talk to boys all the time." I replied, unsure of why she thought I didn't.

Cassy looked up at me. "Not uncle Matt and uncle Josh." She told me.

Before I could respond, Maddy spoke. "They try to talk to you but you just ignore them." She explained.

I sighed and rubbed my head. "I know guys, I know." I told them. I looked down at them. "What do you guys think of them? Do you like them?" I asked. I know it's kinda stupid but I was hoping that they might give me the right answer on what to do.