No One But You

23. In Love

Roger

"I miss you," Maddie says softly into the phone. 

My heart feels weird, and my breathing is constricted. I hate this. I love touring and music and being with the lads, but I want Maddie there by my side. I need her there by my side. 

"I miss you too," I tell her honestly. More than she knows. "I'll be home before you know it," 

There's a long pause before Maddie speaks again. "Don't waste away your tour for me," she laughs darkly. "It's your first real tour. Not that the small tour of Britain was any less, but you know what I mean.."

"I'm not wasting away anything, Mads. I just want you here with me," I sigh dramatically. 

Maddie doesn't know this but I begged and begged to bring her along. Freddie did the same with Mary, but Paul Prenter thought it would distract us too much and it wouldn't be beneficial. Freddie accepted it better than I did. I cursed him out, maybe threatened him a couple times, but it still didn't help. 

"I want you with me too, Rog," Maddie says. She sounds tired. "Now that I'm in school again I couldn't go anyways. I wouldn't hold you down like that," 

I groan, and lean against the brick wall to which this phone is attached too. This conversation isn't suited for a random truck stop. 

"You don't hold me down," I argue. "How could you even say something like that?" 

"Because I feel like I do," she whispers. 

I lean in closer to the wall, trying to shield myself from the people around me. I wish his phone call was more private but I'm glad I even got the chance to speak to her. Paul has been cracking down on us making calls. Says it takes up too much time.

What a twat.

"Don't fucking say that," I say, in the nicest way possible. "You don't hold me down. You raise me up, do you understand me? I'm in a foul mood without you because you make me a better person,"

Maddie sniffles and I immediately know she's crying. My heart aches. I long for her. Her touch, her smell, her smile. Just her. 

"Please don't cry," I continue. "I'll be home before you know it and we can go out, and hang out with the lads, and you can tell me about all the astro-whatever shit you're learning,"

Maddie laughs. "Astrophysics," she corrects me. 

"Right," I say, and small smile forming on my face. 

Someone taps my shoulder. I turn to look and see Paul. He holds up a finger signaling I have a minute left. 

"Fuck off," I mutter as he walks away. "Not you," I quickly tell Maddie.

"Paul?" she asks. 

I nod. "Yeah,"

"Please don't fight him or cause issues," I don't respond. "Roger?"

"I can't promise anything," I say, quietly. I look around, watching as Freddie hangs up the phone and walks to the mens loo, following some mangy looking truck driver. I feel out of place here. I don't get how he's so comfortable. 

"I'll let you go," Maddie says. "Please call as soon as you get to your next location,"

"I will," I promise her. "Even if Paul fucking Prenter is being an arse,"

Maddie laughs. "Bye Roger," 

"Bye Maddie," I say, smiling. "I miss you already!" I say right before I hang up. 

The emptiness feeling takes over again. I didn't realize how attached I grew to her since we started dating. No wonder why I dint date before her. This is awful. But she makes it so worth it. 

Out of pent up frustration, I punch the brick wall to blow off some steam. My knuckles are slightly bloodied, but they'll be fine come morning. It felt good, and I feel slightly better. It was either I punch the wall or Paul's face. 

"You think I have time to make a call?" Deaky asks me when I turn around, about to get back on the bus.

"Maddie?" I ask. Deaky nods. "Shit, I would have just handed you the phone,"

"It's okay," John smiles. 

"Just go for it. I'll hold off Paul if he tries to rush you,"

Deaky gives me a smile and I walk past him and near the bus. I pass loads of truck drivers, who look like they could knock my lights out if they really wanted to. There are also one other people just stopping for a coffee, or to gas up their cars. 

"Hi Roger," a girl says, and I'm taken back. Sometimes I forget that we're getting more and more recognized when we aren't even performing. 

"Hello," I respond, giving her a tight smile. I continue walking towards my bus, but the girl follows me. 

"I'm Alyssa," she says.

"That's nice," I respond, not bothering to look at her as I get on the bus. 

"I love your music," Alyssa says, clearly having followed me on. Is this even legal?

"Thank you," I tell her. "Now I'm pretty sure you don't belong on this bus,"

I take a seat in the back where I normally do, Alyssa sitting next to me. She keeps a distance, but I still don't like her here. I don't like how pushy she's being. I didn't invite her on or with me.

"Freddie said I could come along. He said the more the merrier," she explains. 

"Oh did he?" I ask. This isn't the first time Freddie's done this. I didn't mind normally, because he said he was 'trying to select a fine American woman for Deaky' but I don't think Alyssa is really too interested in John. 

"He did," the girl says, moving slightly closer to me.

"I have a girlfriend," I tell her. "Her name's Madison and she's the most beautiful girl I've ever met," 

A faint frown is evident on Alyssa's face. I'll admit she's pretty. She has big green eyes and long blonde hair. But she's not Maddie. Maddie to me is the only girl I'll see. 

"A girlfriend is temporary," Alyssa says faintly. She rests a hand on my leg, inching it further up. She's trying to turn me on and I won't have it. 

I pick her hand up and drop it down next to me so I don't feel her touch anymore.

"Please leave," I ask nicely. 

"Freddie said-"

"I don't give a fuck!" I yell, standing up now. "Get the fuck out. I know what you're doing and it's not going to work because I'm in love and not with you!"

Alyssa looks shocked, and scampers off the bus like a hurt puppy. I didn't realize Freddie, Deaky, and Brian were stood in the front, until I see Alyssa push past them to get off. 

"You just admitted you were in love, Rog," Brian says, smiling softly. 

I huff and sit down. I did didn't I?

"Stop inviting girls to accompany us," I tell Freddie. "I can't take it,"

"What did I miss?" Paul asks, his voice literally hurting my bones. 

"Just Roger admitting he's in love," Deaky says, falling into a seat near Brian. 

I glare at him, unable to deny it. I am in love.