No One But You

58. Songbook

Roger

Unfortunately the boys and I had to leave to go back on tour almost immediately after Maddie was released from the hospital. I felt awful about it, but she insisted it was okay and that she would be fine. I must say if she wasn't with Mary, Chrissie, or Veronica nearly every second of every day I would fly back home and never leave her side. 

But I can't leave Queen without a drummer. 

"You look like you're about to jump off a bridge, mate," Brian comments to me, sitting down on the shitty couch next to me. 

The two of us, plus Deaky, are currently backstage in this little waiting room area thing. I don't know what the hell it's supposed to be but all I know it's shitty and it smells weird. 

"I'm just thinking," I mutter. 

It's all I've been doing lately. Thinking. I hate it. Not that I haven't always put thought into things but being away from Maddie sends me into thinking overdrive about her and now our baby. I worry it's a bit excessive but John says it's endearing. 

"Me too," Brian admits. 

"Yeah?" I ask, turning to face him at a better angle. "About what?"

Brian shrugs. "Life in general," he sighs. "I dunno. I keep getting all these ideas for the band and since this is our first world tour I really want to take things to the next level but...it's stupid,"

I reach over and whack Brian with my hand. 

"Spit it out. Come on now," I order him, causing him to sigh heavily and run a hand through his curly hair. 

"I just worry that we won't be together all that long. That's all," Brian finally says. 

It's at this point that Deaky tunes into the conversation. He sits across the room on an equally shitty couch, staring at Brian with wide eyes. 

"Why do you say that?" He asks. 

Brian huffs loudly and sinks further into his seat. 

"It's just - I don't know. Freddie and Rog are engaged. You're having a baby. Rog is having a baby-"

"I'm winning so far," I half tease, grinning at a not amused Brian. 

"You know what I mean, areshole," he seethes. 

"You can't think like that Brian," John says. He leans forward and rests his elbows on his knees. "We aren't going anywhere. Our Queen family is just getting a little bit larger but I don't see us splitting up over it,"

Brian sighs. 

"I know, I know. I'm being dumb. It's just a fear I guess since Chrissie and I are going slower than everyone else," he says. 

"Maddie might consume my every thoughts and I might talk about her constantly, but I couldn't be me without drumming and without you losers," I tell Brian. "I'm not going anywhere,"

Brian looks shocked at the words that came out of my mouth. 

"You're pretty okay when you want to be, Rog," he jokes, grinning to himself. 

I furrow my eyebrows in fake offense. 

"What's that supposed to mean?" I ask. 

"Well-" he starts, but he is cut off by the very loud mouth of Freddie Mercury waltzing into the room we are in. 

"Isn't this a pathetic party we have going on?" Freddie jokes. He grins and plops down next to Deaky, causing him to move over a bit. 

"We're just talking about life," I mutter. 

I lean back on the couch and place my hands behind my head as I stare at the ceiling. Deep conversations for us normally don't happen before midnight at least. Now I feel like I can't go on with the rest of my day, especially this concert tonight. 

"Oh are we now," Freddie muses. 

"Brian's worried we're going to break up," John spills. 

Freddie gasps and holds a hand to his chest. 

"Brian! How dare you!" he exclaims. "I would never let that happen," 

Brian huffs. He most likely thought this conversation was over, just like the rest of us, but alas Freddie had to start it back up again. 

"It was just a brief worry, Fred," Brian explains as I release my head and turn to look at everyone. 

"Good," Freddie says. "I already have some ideas for the next album," 

I haven't even thought about another album if I'm being honest. I think we all knew the day would come but we've been so consumed in our personal lives and the tour that we haven't really had time to digest anything. 

"Yeah?" Brian asks. 

Freddie nods then turns to look at me. 

"Rog, Maddie told me when we first met that she writes songs. Is that true do you know?" he asks. 

"Yeah," I respond, remembering the day that she showed me her song book. God, that seems like ages ago. "She has a little book and everything where she writes them in,"

Freddie smiles. 

"I knew I liked her," he says. "I was thinking of asking if she'd like to put forth a contribution," 

"You want her to write a song or two?" Brian asks. 

"When we first met I promised when we were big and famous that she would be able to write a couple songs for us. Her boldness attracted me," 

I always wondered how Freddie and Maddie became friends. I knew vaguely of how it happened but neither of them explained in detail so this is the first I'm hearing of this. 

"She also plays," John adds. "She's a talented musician," 

I sigh. "She's talented and smart and pretty," I swoon. 

"And yet she's with you," 

"Deaky! You little devil," Freddie says with a grin. 

I roll my eyes. I suppose this is shit on Roger day. Just as I open my mouth to say something, Paul Prenter comes into where we are, completely invading our space. 

"We're going to start soundcheck now, boys," he announces. 

"Thank you, Paul," Freddie says. Paul smirks before leaving the room again, the lot of us begrudgingly standing up and following him out. 

It's hard to believe that this is one of the last concerts of this tour. Everything we've done has been so big and popular but I have a feeling it's only going to grow from here.