Sequel to On the Road- Awsten Knight.
One year later, their worlds have been torn apart, but through late night phone calls and inside jokes can they rekindle what they had?
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Sweat coated my skin like a tight film of these claustrophobic anxieties. I held my knees to my chest and sobbed into the night. I saw Tom soundly sleeping on his front and it made even more tears come.
I haven't had a good night's sleep in over a year. I don't exactly know when it was but it was probably when I was staying with Awsten at his parent's house. It was just before Christmas. It was just before everything became broken again.
I just don't want to do this anymore. I'm so fucking exhausted. Maybe the only way I can get enough rest now, is if I just don't wake up. It feels like that anyway.
I hate not having a purpose. I'm just floating around, not doing anything good. Not doing anything at all.
The feeling to make myself feel something is becoming overwhelming. As a coping mechanism, for the past few months when I've been tempted to relapse, I've taken a tattoo needle and poked flowers and symbols into my body like it was a sacred temple needing runes for it's protection. But my body is definitely not a temple because that would make my mind the subject of worship, in which it is not deserving of.
I traced one of the tattoos on my ankle, a pagan triple goddess symbol that I placed there to remind myself that I'm a goddess, now just taunts me. It's like my body is covered in these lies.
I looked down at my thigh, where my only professional tattoo covered my scars. It's just a moon mandala that I got because I thought it was so beautiful that I could never destroy it by relapsing. But there's always the other thigh. Fuck. Maybe I should get another on my other leg.
My tears had calmed from my train of thought. I slipped from my bed and into the bathroom, wiping the tears from my face with a face cloth.
I checked my phone and saw a notification, from 5 minutes ago, saying Awsten had gone live.
I opened the tab to see him in his bedroom talking about some of the old demos. I sat on the closed toilet seat and watched the live. Comments started popping up, when people had noticed that I joined.
@user1: omg Isla is watching?
@user2: are Isla and Awsten still talking?
@user3: I'm guessing Awsten and Isla are still friends?
I could tell from Awsten's face that he saw the comments.
"Isla, are you creeping on my live without commenting anything?" Awsten chuckled.
@the_mind_of_isla: noooooo, I would never
"Wanna join?" He asked.
@the_mind_of_isla: give me 5
"Okay." He carried on talking about his demos. I washed my face of any left over makeup and tear stains, and I combed through my hair to make it acceptable. I went out of my bathroom into my living room and turned on the lamp. I made sure to close the bedroom door so I didn't wake Tom.
