The Playboy Is Mine

Chapter 9

Charlotte West

We settled in my living room. The tense atmosphere was not missed by any of us. We kept looking at each other like goofy idiots but no one tried to break the unbearable silence. Joel walked over and sat on the couch I was on.

"Mind if I get in and get comfy with you. It's chilly out here." He asked motioning to the comfy blanked I wrapped my legs in. I didn't bother answering him. I just got up and he spread himself. I lay next to him and covered us with the blanket and fixed my eyes on the movie that was playing. I tried keeping away so that our bodies didn't touch. He sighed and pulled me closer.

"Are you watching that?" He asked

"No, why?" I asked

He didn't bother responding, he just grabbed the remote and switched the TV off and pulled me much more closer that his legs entangled with mine and I laid my head on his chest. Silence reigned amongst us, and it was filled with tension and unspoken desire. I knew he could feel it too with the way his heart hammered against his broad chest.

"Charlotte am an asshole" he said out of the blue, causing me to laugh.

"When did you realize that? And what made you realize that?"

"Being with you here has helped me realize how much of an asshole I am. Cause if I were you, I would have pushed me away." Even though it was really dark, I made out his face and gently stroked his chin.

"All you do is tried to be friendly and nice to me. But because am an idiot, I don't or didn't see that. Instead I pushed you away." He sighed and I could feel his eyes on me, "what I am trying to say is am sorry for everything Charlotte. You don’t deserve the attitude that I give you."

"I forgive you Joel. Please let me in. Let me help you become the person I know you are."

"Okay. It’s been hard for me to trust anyone since ten years ago. I only trust my family."

"I know, but Joel, you need to trust me. Let me in. We might as well find a solution to what has been troubling you for so long."

"Okay, here goes nothing." He sighed; I squeezed his hand in assurance. "Remember the first party that my parents threw and you attended?"

"Yes. I do." How can I forget when you completely had my heart since then?

"Well, I was not in the mood to party. So I excused myself and went to......." Then the doorbell rang.

"Umh, hang in a second, I will go and see who it is." I murmured, not wanting to leave the comfort of his arms. Joel sat up and watched me as I made my way to the door. I smiled lightly at him and opened the door.

"Hello gorgeous, it’s been a while."

"Matt? What are you doing here? You have not business here please leave." I shouted with anger and fear for the man I once called mine.

"Now now kitty, that's no way to talk your daddy. You will be punished my little slut. I will shove my dick into your mouth for you to shut up." I quivered with fear; I knew what Matt was capable of.

"It would be threatening if you had a dick to begin with" Joel growled from behind me. When did he get there?

"Oh, my little slut, I see you haven't changed. You are fucking this motherfucker here? I knew that you were a slut; you are a big bitchy dirty ugly slut. No one will ever love you, even him, will leave you and you will come back to me that I fuck your loose vagina" Matt smirked as tears rolled down my cheeks.
"It will get ugly; I want you to look away. You don’t have to see this." Joel whispered and kissed my head as he made his way to Matt. He threw a couple of punches at Matt, until one of his guards came and stopped Joel from killing Matt.

"If I ever find you anywhere near her again, that will be the last day you will ever breathe. I will slit your throat and rip your heart out of your body with my bare hands." Joel's words dripped with pure anger as his guard dragged Matt away. Joel closed the door and I run into his open arms and cried my heart out

"Shhh, don’t be scared beautiful. I will protect you. No matter what happens I will be there for you." He run his fingers through my hair. I sobbed on his chest until the cries died down.

"Let's get you to bed beautiful. It’s late." He said as he looked at his watch.

"What time is it?"

"A couple of minutes after nine.” I didn't realize so much time had passed. I stood up from our sitting position and pulled Joel up.

"Let's get to bed big guy." I smiled lightly and he chuckled. My legs felt numb so Joel had no choice but to carry me to my room. I inhaled his scent trying to make most of the minute I was with him before I go back to covering my feelings.

"What do you wear when sleeping?"

"Anything I find comfy. Why?"

"No reason. I'll be back, don’t move alright Char?"

"Aye aye captain." He chuckled as I mock saluted. Once he left Matt's words rung in my head, no one will ever love you even him will leave... I know I should not take his words to heart, but I did. Joel will leave me because he doesn't love me. No one can love me. I got out of bed and went to my cabinet and took out a sharp blade. I sat on my bed and recollected everything that had happened with Matt. His words rung in my mind. I placed the blade against my arm. I can't be strong, am weak I just need to cut. I repeated the mantra in my head that I believe it. I pressed the blade and blood began dripping.

"What the fuck are you doing to yourself Charlotte?" Joel screamed and before I could cut deeper, he snatched the blade away while I cried some more.

Joel walked to the cabinet, pulled out the first aid kit and knelt on the floor in front of me. He cleaned my wound and applied ointment and covered it with a bandage. He put away the kit. He sat on the bed, looked at me and said nothing for a while.

"Why did you do that to yourself Charlotte?" He asked softly.

"Matt said you will leave me and you did. No one ever loved me, no will ever love me. I just wanted to end my life. I didn't want to be a burden to you or anyone else" I replied tears streaming down my face.

"I didn't leave you. I went to grab one of my t-shirts for you to put on whenever you sleep so that you feel am next to you." He replied calmly, leaning against the headboard. Now I feel stupid.

"I thought you left me." I murmured softly and he sighed.

"Come here" he patted at the spot between his legs. I sat there and leaned my head against his chest, and he wrapped his arm around me. We talked over things and I was feeling a little better.

"It’s so late beautiful. Let's get you changed and get you to bed." He smiled as he got up to grab his grey T-shirt. He flicked the lights off and helped me change. I crawled into bed.

"Good night beautiful." He kissed the top of my head.

"Joel" I called out and he hummed a response as he was making himself comfortable on the couch that was in my room.

"Come and sleep here. That couch is uncomfortable. You will have a stiff neck in the morning." He walked over and my bed dipped with his weight I shifted closer to his chest and he wrapped his hand around my waist. And we stayed like that for some time when I remembered we were talking before Matt interrupted us.

"Joel, you can finish your story. Am not sleepy yet."

"You need to sleep beautiful. I will tell you everything tomorrow."

"Promise?" I smiled and he chuckled.

"Promise. Now close your eyes beautiful." He kissed my head again. Seems like he has developed a habit of kissing my head, not that am complaining.

"Stop thinking. Sleep now." He ordered and I chuckled.

"Sing me a song and I will sleep."

"Okay. I will do it." He cleared his throat and sung beautifully Rachel Plankton's Stand by You chorus as he lured me to sleep in his arms.

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