triggers: anorexia references, bullying references
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hey, don't write yourself off yet.
it's only in your head you feel left out or looked down on.
just do your best, do everything you can.
and don't you worry what the bitter hearts are gonna say.
- jimmy eat world, the middle
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i was sat at home, trying to eat the bowl of chicken soup my mother had placed in front of me as she sat beside me watching. it was creepy to say the least. school was uneventful after lunch. we didn't tell ashton why isaac hurt me, we decided it would be best to just leave it for now. turns out ashton only joined the school at the start of this year so he wasn't here for the rumours. plus after grace punched isaac he didn't bother me for the rest of the day. it was like bliss. my phone vibrated on the table and i used it as an excuse to delay the eating - i already felt sick.
calpal: you know how i walked home with luke and ashton?
yes and left me stranded.
michaelangelo: mmh
calpal: they were talking about this band they're putting together and i think i might ask them if i can join too.
michaelangelo: great, have fun
calpal: no you should too
i almost laughed out loud and fell off my stool. he's taken something.
michaelangelo: don't do drugs. hugs not drugs.
calpal: you said if i tried to hug you you'd rip my arms off and jam them up my arse.
michaelangelo: i didn't say hug me.
calpal: seriously we should join together
michaelangelo: no get out
calpal: i can't leave texting.
michaelangelo: shut up
calpal: ITS SOMEONES TIME OF THE MONTH
michaelangelo: stop shouting you're giving me a headache!
i then realised what i had said and sighed deeply. there was a long pause before he replied again. by that i mean i made an excuse about leaving the rest of the soup and got three whole games of fifa in.
calpal: can i come over??
michaelangelo: no
calpal: i'm coming over.
there's my quiet friday night ruined.
i sound middle aged.
mum told me rob had left on a business trip and we did a little victory dance together. moves like jagger. it was safer for me to have people over when he wasn't around, just in case. not that calum usually listens when i say no. he doesn't quite understand that my house isn't open to guests permanently. he comes in, eats all our food, gives me a headache, makes shitty jokes, makes a mess then leaves. same thing every time.
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i continued to play the game (even though it was starting to bore me now) until the doorbell rang. i was about to go open the door but he just walked in. followed by two other people.
