IUVENALE || REMUS LUPIN

Healing

"I don't want to be a burden to everyone. Especially you and Remus. With the situation, you've been through in your family. How can I tell you about that? James, with you being Quidditch Captain and your quest to win Lily's heart, how can I tell you how I feel? And you, John. With your furry little problem, I wanted to be there for you. That makes me feel better." Holly said while crying.

That night, Sirius, James and Remus were crying their eyeballs out, God knows where Peter was going. But the rest of them gathered around Holly's bed after they discovered that Holly had been cutting her arms. Remus kept holding her hand lovingly. He refused to leave Holly's bed that night. 

"Mr Lupin, go back to your bed, She will be okay." Madam Pomfrey commanded as she tried hard to convince Remus that Holly would be okay.

"No, She needs me," The boy cried.

"Go have some rest, I'll watch her out for you," James said. His eyes were swollen due to crying. 

"Come on, Moony," Sirius said as he helped Remus to go back to his bed.

"Thank you, Mr Black. I need to change bandages and have him drink the healing potion," Madam Pomfrey said as she started her job changing Remus' bandages. "I hope Miss Evans can find the way out of her depression," She said, a tear stain could be seen on her cheeks. She couldn't help to cry looking at this girl who always helped her at the wing, who was always eagerly helping her brewing the werewolf remedy potion, the bright and strong girl she had always known before really turned into one fragile selfless being. 

James sat by the bed and held Holly's hand close to his warm palms. "If I knew about this from the beginning..." He whispered, loud enough for the girl to hear. she was crying silently. No one knew she was half awake. soft sobs could be heard from her.

James looked up to see the presumably sleeping girl in front of him. He felt a gentle squeeze to his hand. "Jamie," Her voice woke him up.

"Yes, what do you need, Hol?" He asked gently, rubbing his hand against her hair.

"I wonder if I can run to your home during summer?" She proposed. Holly had something in her mind. something about running away from her family during summer and Christmas. Running away from the dreadful place,  at least to get herself off of the tendency to kill herself.

"Thought you'd never asked. I've owled mum. I think she'll send answers soon," James smiled.

"Uh, James," She called the boy once again.

"Yes?" He looked at her as she sat down on her bed. it was 7 in the evening and everyone was at the Great Hall to have their dinner.

"I want to meet Lily and Marley. I haven't seen them for quite some time," Holly said. 

"I'll get them for you. along with some food from the hall," James said. It was the only excuse for him to see his crush with everything happening that day. "Hey, Sirius! Please watch her for me," James said, calling Sirius to watch over Holly.

"James, I am not a 4-year-old," She whined.

"Yeah, you definitely are 14. But, all I know, you need us to keep you save. We are your home, Hol," Sirius said as he hugged his best friend tight.

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Sirius' POV

I sat by her bed. She was sitting there with a muggle fiction book. She said that book was some sort of The Tales of Beedle The Bard in the muggles version. 

"Hol, you have to promise me not to hurt yourself anymore," I grabbed her hand. 

"You have to promise me the same," She took my hand and took a look of the streaks along my arm.

"How long have you known?" I asked her.

"For as long as I kept these things to myself." She said. "I knew you've struggled through all these pains all by yourself. how can I tell you I'm not okay?" She said as she looked down and cried after putting her book aside.

"Don't tell James and Remus. Keep these to us only," I said as I pleaded to her.

"Sadly, I found that out just now," Lily appeared behind me with Marlene McKinnon. James was busy looking after Remus and helping him with dinner.

"Black, Holly, why are you keeping these things away from us? What are we? strangers?" Marlene asked as she began crying. 

"You're not a stranger, Marley. I just don't want to be a burden to all of you guys. I've been much burden to these boys and if I burden you, Lily, Dorcas, Mary and Alice, it will make me a bad person," She said as she looked down. 

"You're not a burden to anyone. You can simply tell us everything without hurting yourself, Holly," Lily said. "And you too, Black," She looked at the both of us with a worried look.

"How long has this been happening to you two?" Marlene asked.

"I don't know, maybe since I got into Gryffindor," I shrugged.

"And you, Holly?" She looked at Holly with a worried look in her eyes.

"The first year," Holly squeezed my hand, fighting not to cry.

"Why are you two so good at keeping away your pain?" Lily cried. I knew Holly couldn't hide her tears. she laid back on the bed and refused to look at Lily. 

"I'll come back tomorrow. You have some rest." Marlene said as she pulled Lily away. "Black, You can always talk to me," She said as she hugged me, sending chills down my spine. nobody had hugged me with that warmth other than Holly. 

"Let's give them time to talk themselves out, Lil. I believe holly had her reasons to keep all of these to herself," Marley said as she took Lily's hand and went away.

"Hol?" I kneeled in front of her and looked into her eyes. The pain was written all over both of her eyes.

"What happened?" Remus asked, limping to see her crying.

"She requested to see her sister and Lily of all people found out about us," I said as I told everything about my self-harm tendency as well as hers. 

"Let me handle her. I believe James there wanted you to explain about those wounds," Remus said as he nodded to James who was quietly standing on the other side of her bed.

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Remus' POV

I laid by her side and put my arms around her waist. Her shoulders were still moving up and down due to her sobs. The marks all over her arms were pinkish, just like the ones I  had around my face and chest. she turned back and snuggled into my chest. she snaked her arms around my waist and cried to her slumber. It wasn't that deep. she still stirred in her sleep. She'd cry in her sleep.

"I'm here," I whispered gently in her ear. She'd snuggle closer into my chest, listening to my heartbeat and stopped crying immediately. 

Why would a monster like me be worthy of someone like her?

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