Words Can't Cover Me

Overboard

Drowning.
Suffocating to death.
Mood swings are the ocean tides.
Pushing me beneath the surface, never to be seen again.
I scream for help, but my lungs fill with the thick substance surrounding me.
A cesspit of fear, depression, anxiety, and anything and everything in between.
Just fake your smile to get through the day.
Act like everything is okay.
Don't tell them you're afraid.
Don't tell them you feel abandoned.
You must keep yourself sustained.
Or just disappear entirely.
They don't ask anymore.
Most of them never did.
Maybe mother was right.
Maybe they truly don't care that I'm dying inside everyday.
Who knows anymore.
I can see them passing me by on their raft.
Some of them even stared at me and still pretended not to notice.
They've watched me break down and have said nothing.
They've ditched me for others and left me alone.
They act like they care, but in reality they don't.
They just want to pretend that their good friends.
Just enough to feed their egos and move on.
I'm tired of this bull shit.
I'm tired of getting glanced over all the fucking time.
I can't take it anymore.
The lying, hiding, pretending, loneliness.
I decided to do this alone mostly because I had no other choice.
They tossed me into the sea with nothing.
Not even a float to keep me steady.
Fine.
That's how it's going to be then I'll do this shit alone.
I knew I never should've put so much trust into everyone.
My mistake.
I'll go reacquaint myself with the sirens.
I've fallen deaf to their song.
Years of going through the same thing over and over makes you immune to certain aspects.
This isn't the first time I've gone overboard.
I'm just not going to climb aboard the next ship I see anymore.
Few have maintained their position with me.
But there is always at least one to stick around.
I'm just starting to loathe some.
And that's something that I have to deal with now.