the loner

Chapter 5 - Party

This chapter has a song too but once again not necessary :)

      We were here, I could hear the thumping music, people were mingling outside on the porch, and red solo cups were scattered everywhere. "Should we go in?" I asked.
"I mean probably since we're here," he laughed but then saw my expression "are you ok?" He asked sounding concerned. I was having trouble breathing and my breaths were shaky and my eyes were filling up with tears I squeezed my eyes shut. I was not going to cry.
"Yeah I'm fine. It's just... my last party didn't go so well." I admitted. "I can't breathe," I said opening my eyes, gasping.
      "I think you're having a panic attack, come here." He slid a little towards me on the bench seat, I could tell he was restraining himself like he just wanted to grab me and make me feel better but he needed my permission, he didn't want to overwhelm me. I slid towards him closing the distance. He opened his arms and I curled into his chest, gasping and trying not to cry. "You don't have to tell me about it, just calm down." I nodded and pressed my cheek against his chest and tried to slow my breathing. He held onto me tightly, as if I might blow away. His heart was beating abnormally fast and he smelled like citrus and smoke a mixture that was just... him. I quickly calmed down.
     "I think I'm feeling better." I didn't want him to let me go but it had to happen sometime.
     "Good," he reluctantly released me and looked down as if he had just done something monumentally stupid. "We should probably be getting inside." I nodded and opened the car door and got out. He did the same and walked over to me. "Are you gonna be ok, because we don't have to go we can find something else to do." He proposed but I could tell he wanted to go. It was his first party while going to this school. I wasn't going to ruin it.
     "No I'll be fine let's go." I walked up the front steps and he followed but he had this expression on like he was trying to solve a difficult math problem. I went to open the front door and he grabbed it for me letting me in first. I walked right over to where the drinks were, grabbed one, and chugged it. Then picked up another. It tasted horrible, some vodka I think and it burned going down my throat.
      "Jae, slow down a little bit. It's gonna be fine." Calix had followed me and I hadn't even noticed. I gave him a pained smile and downed another. "Ok come on that's enough." He grabbed me around the waist and pulled me away from the drink table. I still had time to grab another drink though, and I did. "I'm not sure what happened but it won't happen again. I'm here for you." He gazed into my eyes and I could see how worried he was but I honestly didn't care. The only thing I cared about in that moment was drinking my feelings away.
     "Thank you, really but I'll be fiinnneee." I told him then moved away from his grasp. He looked hurt although I don't know why, it's not as if we're dating. I turned and walked away leaving him there looking like a lost puppy. I downed my drink and headed over to get another one. I grabbed a drink and suddenly there was a guy in front of me.
     "Hey cutie, what's your name?" He asked giving me a smirk. He was kinda cute, brown hair, brown eyes, but had a big nose. Nothing compared to the masterpiece that is Calix. I need to stop thinking about him, just friends.
    "I'm Jae, y-you?" I asked hiccuping, those drinks were really getting to me.
    "Dave, well Jae you wanna get out of here?" He asked waggling his eyebrows at me. I was just about to agree when Calix showed up looking pissed.
     "Stay away from her, she's with me." Calix said throwing his arm around my waist and pulling me towards him. I glared at him. "I think it's time to go." Dave looked pissed. Calix just gave him a sarcastic smile and walked me right passed him and out the front door. "And that's enough partying for you."
    "Ugghhh you're so borriinnggg." I groaned. I didn't want to leave.
    "No I'm not but I also don't feel like dealing with a blacked out drunk/ alcohol poisoned you." He answered and opened the car door for me. I got in, he shut the door and got in his side and started the car. "Buckle up." He ordered.
    "Jeez fine bossy pants, you s-should buckle up too." I told him but he just started driving, clearly pissed. "B-BUCKLE UP. I don't want you to die." I said suddenly sad. He glanced at me then buckled his seat belt. I thanked him. "Where are we going?" I asked looking out the window like a little kid.
     "To your house, you need to get some sleep." He answered. I checked my phone there was a message from my mom. They both got called into work and wouldn't be back till morning. They were doctors.
     "There's no one home," I told him looking at him intently.
      "What do you mean I thought your parents were home?" He asked glancing at me.
     "They got called to work, h-house's empty." I slurred. I was feeling the vodka now. I started laughing.
    "Why are you laughing?" He asked glancing at me worriedly.
"I don't know," I said giggling and then I realized I did exactly what I said I wouldn't do. I got real sad, real fast. "I ruined your night! I can't believe I did that! I said I wouldn't do it but I did. I'm sorry please please don't hate me!" I rambled, suddenly freaking out. "Please I'm sorry, don't be mad, we can go back, or to a different party!" He stopped the car and parked. "Don't hate me I'm really really sorry I didn't mean to ruin your night." I was on the verge of crying.
"Jae it's fine seriously, I just wanted to be there for you, get you to have some fun. Really it's fine. I could never hate you anyway." He spoke truthfully I could tell, his eyes were full of emotion.
"Why'd you stop the car then? I thought you were gonna kick me out." I asked with wide eyes.
He laughed, "We're at your house," I turned and sure enough we were parked in front of my house I hadn't even noticed. I opened the car door and ran up to the front door unlocking it, a moment later I felt Calix behind me and I opened the door letting him in with me.
"I have a great idea!" I exclaimed my excitement flooding back. I ran over to where we had a speaker and plugged in my phone playing the music off my phone I turned it up till I couldn't hear anything else. I closed my eyes and swayed my hips dancing to the beat of the music. I opened them again and I saw Calix staring, dumbfounded. I jumped onto the coffee table, "DANCE WITH ME!" I shouted over the music and Calix moved reluctantly towards me. Not fast enough though. I jumped down and ran to him. I grabbed his hand and pulled him into the living room. I started dancing again and Calix started laughing then as if he said fuck it, he started dancing with me. I laughed and cheered, happy he'd joined me. After a few songs of straight dancing we both grew tired and I turned down the music. I yawned. "I'm tired." I said lazily.
He laughed, "that's to be expected after all of that. Come on." He motioned for me to follow him and I ran up to him, grabbing his arm and moving it so it went over my shoulders.
I burrowed into his side while walking, "you smell good." I said happily. He laughed though he looked distracted, he was just gazing down at me with confusion on his face. We walked up the stairs and into my room. I sighed and walked out from under his arm and took off my jacket and then my boots and socks. Calix just stood there, lost. "You can sleep there." I pointed to the left side of my bed. I had a full size bed so there was room for both of us.
"Uh I didn't know I was staying over," he answered still standing there.
"Well of course silly, now, get in bed." I ordered, sliding under the covers. He moved over to the side of the bed I told him to and he took off his shoes and jacket. He then slowly got under the covers as if he didn't know if he belonged there or not, but I knew he did. It was the only place I wanted him. Eventually though he was laying in bed. "Oh! I forgot." I jump up and run and flip the light switch. The room is suddenly pitch black. "The dark is scary," I whisper. I hear Calix give a low chuckle so I follow that sound and end up back in bed. I can just barely see the outline of his shoulders. He's facing away from me. I frown and reach out to touch his shoulder. As my fingers come in contact with the fabric of his t shirt he flinches slightly. "Why are you facing away from me?" I ask, hurt.
He sighs and turns to face me. I smile. "Is that better?" He asks.
"Almost." I suddenly scoot forward and snuggle up against him. He stiffens. "Relax," I say tiredly. He takes a deep breath and relaxes wrapping his arms around me. I burrow into his chest. Is this friendship? It doesn't feel like it. "I like you. And not as a friend." I say easily. The last thing I register before falling asleep is Calix gripping me a little tighter after my confession.
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Authors Note
I can only go so long until I have to write some type of fluff so I bring you drunk Jae 😂 I hope you guys like this chapter! It was a lot of fun to write, I'm gonna go hide now. have a fabulous day! Love you all!
-Olive