*•.¸♡ unєхpєctєd ♡¸.•* || α luwσσ stσrч

хι: lιĸe тнe мovιeѕ

~♥~
사랑하는 데
이렇게 답답한 기분은 뭔데
-
I love you so much
But I hate this suffocating feeling
~♥~

Lucas P.O.V

As soon I stepped into my apartment, I burst into tears. My head was pounding, and I felt as if my entire world had come crashing down into millions of bits and pieces. The small bits that used to make up my heart were basically nonexistent now, and everything was just like it had been before. Right when things were going fine, I had somehow turned everything into such a horrendous mess. It was all my fault.

"Lucas? What are you doing?"

My head snapped up when I heard Kun's concerned voice. I instantly wiped the tears off my face and stared at him. He walked closer towards me and held my face in his hands. His expression clearly showed that he was very worried. I felt apprehensive about telling him what had happened, so I continued to stay quiet.

"I thought that you were with Jungwoo?" he stated in a confused tone. I felt the tears begin to form again at the mention of his name, and Kun quickly noticed this. He dropped his hands down to his sides, and his concerned expression rapidly turned into an angry one. "What did he do?"

Although his body language made him seem calm, I could hear the wrath laced within his words. Kun was not the type of person get mad easily, in fact, I have only ever seen him angry once. I instantly began to break down the moment he held my hands in order to comfort me. I could tell that he was trying to contain his heated emotions, but I knew that he wouldn't continue to stay this calm if I told him everything. A heavy weight began to press down against my chest as each second passed. I didn't want to worry Kun, but I knew that it would be worse if I didn't say anything.

"Jungwoo left me," I whispered in a broken voice. Kun's grip tightened, and I winced in pain. He quickly apologized and let go of me.

"What do you mean? Why would he do that all of sudden? The two of you were completely fine!"

I stayed quiet once again. Of course he would be confused, he didn't even know how things had been lately between Jungwoo and I.

"It's all my fault. Jungwoo got angry at me again."

"Again? Why are you saying that?! Lucas, tell me everything that happened."

I closed my eyes and tightened my fists. As I exhaled the breath that I had been holding, I stared directly into Kun's eyes and told him everything. Although my voice was shaky throughout the entire thing, I somehow managed to give Kun an explanation. I told him about how my selfish self had been inconsiderate about Jungwoo's feelings multiple times already, and how this led him to become angry at me. Kun's eyebrows furrowed as I continued to tell him about all of the incidents that had happened, and his expression got darker as I would end each story and start telling a new one.

He stopped me and stared at me with cold eyes, "Lucas, do you not realize how toxic this relationship has become? You've already told me multiple stories, and I don't think that you need to add any more to that list. Actually, you shouldn't even be giving me these horrible explanations in the first place! No matter how you look at it, Jungwoo is the one to blame for everything, not you. Stop placing the blame on yourself, because you're clearly the only one trying in this nonexistent relationship."

I stared at him in shock as I took in what he had just said. 'You're clearly the only one trying in this nonexistent relationship' These words resonated inside my head, and I felt myself getting dizzy. What he said was definitely not true, I knew that Jungwoo really did love me. He may have been acting a little aggressive lately, but that's just because he's stressed about his career. There was no way that Jungwoo's feelings for me had changed, and I was sure about it. He always came back, because he loves me.

I turned around and began to head towards the door. Kun followed me and tried to hold onto me, but I was able to quickly move out of his reach. As soon as I closed the door behind me, I ran. I knew that I needed to hurry up in order to meet up with Jungwoo. My feet took me to the familiar place where I always found Jungwoo at. As I stepped into the large dark room, I searched over the crowd of people. Everything was making my vision blurry, and I couldn't concentrate due to the loud music and the flashy strobe lights. As I made my way through the sweaty, intoxicated bodies, I finally reached the other side of the room. I looked around and finally spotted him. I breathed out a sigh of relief as I walked towards the familiar boy. Once I stood in front of him, the intense smell of alcohol took over my sense of smell. He looked up at me with expressionless eyes and turned his attention back to his drink.

"Oh, it's you."

His voice sounded completely empty and void of any true emotion. His hair was messier than usual, and his scent was unfamiliar to me. His neck was covered with small, red marks, and I instantly knew what he had done. I felt all of the heat leave my entire body, and I was left with nothing but a vacant, lonely feeling. I stepped closer towards him and held his hand. He didn't react, but I continued to place my lips on his bare skin. It hurt me whenever I saw him in such a desolated state, and all I wanted was to bring happiness into his life. However, I was the reason as to why he was like this. I was such a useless boyfriend.

+×+

A/N: oof I think that this may have been even darker than the last chapter 🤠👊