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хvιιι: ѕυғғocaтed

~♥~
널 감아 나 다시
그렇게 넌 사라져가
-
I'm rewinding you again
Then you're disappearing
~♥~

Jungwoo P.O.V

Me: Hey Lucas. I'm sure that you're going to ignore this, but I just want you to know that I still really love you. I feel so stupid for doing such horrible things to you, and I deeply apologize for everything that I have ever done that has hurt you. I never knew that I could feel so empty without you, and my entire world is just pitch black when you're not next to me. I'm not asking you to forgive me or anything, but I just want the two of us to meet up one last time. I want to actually apologize to you, since doing it through text doesn't seem genuine. I hope that you can give me one last chance to say goodbye the proper way, I promise that I won't bother you once I let go of you.

I anxiously stared at my phone after I had sent the long text message to Lucas. My heart was racing at an alarming rate, but I tried to keep myself calm by taking deep breaths. The worst thing that could happen is that Lucas would ignore my message again. I just need to calm down and keep on going with my day.

I wish it was that easy.

No matter what I did, I couldn't get Lucas out of my head. My manager had given me a few days off, because he had seen how stressed I've been lately. Although I was glad to finally have some time off, it just made everything worse since I wasn't constantly distracted anymore. All I did was lay down on my bed everyday, and whenever I tried to actually do something productive, my motivation would quickly become deteriorated the moment his face came into my mind. These past few weeks have felt like hell lately. I couldn't really complain, since I was the one that brought this onto myself anyways.

As I was laying down on my bed, I heard a familiar ringtone go off. I quickly sat up and reached for my phone. I took in a large breath and looked at the notification.

"Oh my god."

My impatient fingers tapped on the screen, and I instantly clicked on the notification. I couldn't believe it. He actually replied! I could feel my heart pounding inside my chest, and it felt as if it was about to combust.

Xuxi💙: I'm at the coffee shop. Be here within ten minutes, or I'll leave.

My body immediately threw itself off the bed I was lying down in, and I ran towards the restroom. I swiftly undressed myself and changed into the first outfit that I could find. I made sure to brush my teeth and wash my face in order to look somewhat decent. I looked at the clock and began to panic. I only had four minutes left.

"Shit," I breathed out as I ran towards the door. My entire appearance looked like a mess, but I didn't care. This would probably be the only time Lucas was going to allow me to see him, so I had no time to waste. I could feel a sharp pain shooting through my legs as I ran, but I persevered. A heavy pressure began to press down against my chest, and it made it hard for me to breathe. I could feel my vision going black as I ran towards the familiar coffee shop. Once I made it to the door, I barged into the room and looked around.

"Wow, you actually made it."

Lucas P.O.V

As soon as I heard the sound of heavy footsteps, I turned around and saw Jungwoo bent over while trying to catch his breath. His face was flushed, and a few strands of his hair were stuck to his sweaty face. I was surprised that he had arrived here within ten minutes, although he had barely just made it. The moment he heard my voice, his head shot up, and he immediately made his way towards the table I was sitting at.

"Thank you so much, Lucas. You have no idea how grat-"

"Yeah, whatever. Hurry up, I just want to get this over with," I cut him off mid sentence. His face turned into a hurt expression for a split second, but he instantly covered it up with a small smile.

"O-Ok. I just want to begin by formally apologizing to you. I am truly sorry for saying such disgusting things to you, and for trying to force you to do things that you didn't want to do. You didn't deserve to deal with my selfishness, and I'm sorry that I didn't treat you the way you were supposed to be treated. I was such a shitty boyfriend, and all I did was waste your time. I was a disappointment, a disgrace, and a disgusting monster. I really hope that you can become happy now that you're free from me."

I stared at him with a blank expression throughout his entire apology. Although my outward appearance looked emotionless, my heart was pounding at an uncontrollable rate. I wanted to believe him so badly, but could I trust him after everything that happened between us? I didn't want to fall for him all over again, so I decided to cut off all contact between the both of us. Of course, it was difficult for me to just ignore him after everything we had, but it was the right thing to do. After hearing his words, I was beginning to believe that maybe he had actually changed. Maybe this time, he would finally love me the way that he used to. Wouldn't that be wonderful? We could go back to being the loving boyfriends that we used to be. No. I can't let my delusional thoughts take over. It would only end in pain and heartbreak all over again.

"Is that all you wanted to say?" I replied with a bothered tone. He stared at me with pained eyes and softly nodded. I could see the tears forming in his eyes, but I ignored it. I stood up and began to walk away from him. When I was about to leave, I felt a hand holding onto my shirt.

"I-I'm so sor-sorry, Lucas. I know th-that I said that this would b-be the last time, b-but I don't want to l-let go of you," he stuttered out while holding back his tears. After a few seconds, he began to choke up and his entire face became filled with tears. It was a really painful sight to see, but I knew that I couldn't let this get to me. I shook his hand off of me and turned back around. I could hear his heartbroken cries behind me as I walked towards the door. My head was beginning to get dizzy, and my chest felt heavy to the point where I could feel my breaths starting to get shorter. My vision was slowly turning blurry, and my shaky hands could barely reach the door handle. The moment I stepped through the door, my eyes let out a few tears. I aggressively wiped them away with my hands and kept walking. I should be satisfied after hearing Jungwoo's apology, but why do I feel so miserable? Why did he have to do this to me? I hate him so much. I was doing just fine without him, so I should just go back to the way that I was before all of this happened. Yeah, that's exactly what I will do.

+×+

A/N: I was BIG SAD while writing this, so I apologize if it's super angsty.