хιιι: eмpтy eмoтιonѕ

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~~
모든 아픔은 뒤로
여전히 기다려 이렇게
-
I'm pushing back all the pain
I'm still waiting for you like this
~~

Lucas P.O.V

A few days had gone by, and I still haven't seen Jungwoo. I missed him so much, and my heart ached every single second that I thought about him. How did things end up like this? Everything was so perfect between us, but it all suddenly crumbled down so easily. I wanted things to go back to normal, because I felt so lonely. Life didn't have a meaning to me anymore, and I had no motivation to even get out of bed. Every single day, I just laid idly on my bed without thinking about anything. My body had become one with the soft mattress, and I spent hours at a time laying down in the same position. Kun had gone out to buy some groceries. He said that he was going to cook my favorite food, but I had no appetite. I haven't eaten a proper meal in days, but for some reason, I didn't feel hungry. I reached for my phone, and I mindlessly scrolled through my social media. A few seconds later, I came across one of Jungwoo's posts. His sparkling eyes were shining brightly through the screen, and his perfect smile instantly made me forget about everything that had happened. It seemed as if he was doing just fine without me.

"Hey, do you want to help me cook?" Kun asked while poking his head though the door. I shook my head and sighed. His mouth turned into a frown, and he took a step towards me. He sat down on the edge of my bed and patted my leg, "Lucas, you can't just stay here for the rest of your life. I understand that you're very upset right now, but you're not going to get any better if you just decide to close yourself off from the entire world."

I groaned and covered myself with the thick blanket. I heard him sigh softly, but he continued to stay there next to me. The room was silent for a few minutes, and the two of us didn't utter a single word. I felt Kun stand up, and then I heard his footsteps get farther away. I uncovered myself and kept scrolling through Jungwoo's account. He had been posting a lot recently, and he was smiling happily in every single picture. I began to wonder whether he had changed. It would be so wonderful if he was finally starting to turn back into his old self. I suddenly felt the strong urge to get out of bed, and so I did.

I threw my legs over the edge of the bed and lazily walked towards the restroom. I undressed myself and turned on the shower. As I stepped into the tub, the warm water splashed against my body. I began to feel relieved as I felt the drops of water fall against my skin. After a few minutes, I had finally shampooed my hair and washed my body. I stepped out of the bath and wrapprd myself with a towel. I went up to the sink and reached for my toothbrush.

"You're finally up!" I heard Kun's voice through the door. I opened it with my free hand and revealed a happy Kun standing there with a large smile on his face. "I was just about to let you know that the food is finally done."

I stared at him as I continued to brush my teeth. He gave me a thumbs up, turned around and left. Once I was done, I spat out the toothpaste and walked back towards my room. I quickly picked out an outfit and began to make my way out of the apartment. I heard Kun say something before I left, but my blurry mind was too distracted to listen.

I hastily opened the door to my car and drove towards where my mind felt like taking me. Just after a few minutes, I had finally arrived to the familiar place. I made my way into the building and began walking to Jungwoo's practice room. As soon as I stepped into the room, everyone's heads snapped towards my direction. Jungwoo immediately stopped dancing and the staff stared at me in confusion. His manager looked and Jungwoo and I with a puzzled expression.

"Hey Lucas. It's been a while since you last came here. Well, I guess we'll leave the two of you alone," he said while motioning the rest of the people to leave the room. As soon as everyone left, Jungwoo walked towards me with a pained expression.

"What are you doing here?" he asked in a distressed tone.

"I wanted to see you."

"I told you to leave me alone. Why is that so hard for you to understand?"

"Jungwoo, I love you so much. You have no idea how difficult it is for me to just let go of you that easily. I'm sorry for being such a terrible boyfriend, I never wanted to cause you any pain. Please, come back to me. I really need you."

Jungwoo stared at me with a conflicted look as he thought about what I had just said. He began to shake his head, and the space between us became larger as he stepped back. In an attempt to get closer to him, I kept walking towards him until he eventually became trapped between me and the wall. He looked down at his feet and stayed silent as I placed my hands on the wall behind him.

Jungwoo P.O.V

When I saw Lucas barge into the room, I instantly knew why. Ever since our fight, I have been posting lots of pictures in order to provoke him, and it turns out that it actually worked. Here he was, standing in front of me with such a pitiful expression that almost made me feel a bit of sympathy for him. I already knew that there was no way that he was actually going to leave me alone, and now that he knows what it's like to live without me, he will never want to leave me again. It's not like he could ever leave anyways, since it's his fault why I was like this in the first place. I can't believe that I almost died for him. There was a point where I truly did love him, but once the two of us started to become closer, I began to realize how selfish Lucas was. Despite everything I had done for him, he continued to stay by my side without giving me anything in return. I had become very frustrated because of this, and now I feel as if I had turned into such a miserable person. Not only do I have to deal with all the stress that comes along with my career, I also had to deal with a shitty relationship that seems to be going nowhere.

I felt Lucas's warm hand cup my face, and I slowly began to let a few tears out of my eyes. This will for sure hurt him even further. I knew how much he hated it when I cried, so I always used that to my advantage. I didn't actually feel upset, in fact, all I could ever feel is emptiness. The only time I couls actually feel anything was when I provoked Lucas, and it made me feel satisfied knowing that I could control someone so easily just by saying a few words and shedding some fake tears. I didn't want it to end, so I was willing to cooperate with him this time.

As I lifted my head up, I met his broken eyes that were filled with sorrow. He was basically begging me to come back to him at this point, so I decided to put an end to his misery.

"I love you, Lucas. I really can't imagine myself living in a world without you, but I don't want to stay in a relationship where the both of us aren't happy. I know that you will eventually get bored of me, and you'll lea-"

I was suddenly interrupted the moment when Lucas pressed his lips against mine. I could feel all of his intense emotions pour out through his tender lips. His hands made their way to the back of my neck, and he continued to close the distance between us as pressed his body against mine. A strong heat began to spread all over my body, and I felt as if my skin was on fire. Lucas's fingertips left behind a burning sensation, and his touch was so passionately warm. I had grown to have so much hatred towards this feeling, because I already knew that this would be all I would get. Everytime after Lucas would stop, I would be left hot and bothered without any source of relief. Despite this, I continued to kiss him back in order to make him believe that I felt the same way. All I had to do was just pretend, and it would be enough to put an end to Lucas's fears. He was truly such a pitiful broken soul, and I had him all wrapped up around my finger, fully under my control.

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A/N: I have like 4 projects due this week, and I've never wanted to drop out of school as much as I do now. Anyways, ya boI IS EXCITED TO SEE BTS ON THE GRAMMYS YEE YEE 🤠

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