Life Through Poetry

I Traveled Back in Time

We are so much more
Than words.
I cannot express to you
How utterly in anguish I am. Was.

But I can try.

I can try to tell you
How the walls of my chest
Are simultaneously ripping open
And caving in.

I can try to tell you
How my tear ducts
Are the only well
In the never-ending drought.

Apart from the empty well
That replaced my stomach
Dug deep down
Into the bottoms of my feet.

So that these legs will not move.
They are not strong enough
To carry all this weight
Out of lonely togetherness.

You have so long been my oxygen,
But I can't breathe with you anymore.
I can't.
Breathe.

You have so long been my flashlight
That never illuminated
The reason I'm still afraid
Of the dark.

You are the dark,
And you taught me,
No, trained me, to think
You were just the opposite.

And I ran from the truth,
The real illumination.
And closer and closer
To your unforgiving arms.

I can't see my hands in front of me anymore
Because I am so surrounded,
But I know how they would look.
Weak, shaking, bite marks to prove.

I can try to tell you
All of these things.
But how could you possibly understand?
When I have yet to.