When I am so emotionally stretched,
I attempt to lose myself in my recently redownloaded Bumble.
I let each swipe, swipe, swipe,
Put me in a hypnotic state.
I let each Match course through my veins like a hit.
The swipe, swipe, swipe,
To make me feel nothing when I feel like I'm nothing.
When I feel worthless,
I throw myself into this place where I know I'm worth something.
Even if that something is little more than a pretty face.
When I feel untalented,
I remind myself that it's a talent to flirt,
And Nathan thinks I'm good at it, too.
When I feel so alone,
I let my own mind convince me a stranger would be better
Than the company of my best friend of whom I've grown so jealous.
I'm not looking to fill some gap, oh no, I'm not empty.
I'm full of so much self-deprecation,
Sometimes I think my head will explode with the weight.
I'm looking to dull my senses,
So I don't have to feel the words jackhammering my brain any longer.
But for good reason, I care enough not to ruin my life completely.
I don't want to get high on manmade fabrications.
Fabricated love is my drug.
YOU ARE READING
Life Through Poetry
PuisiCollection of poems I've written. It has basically turned into my diary.
