Everything is not as it seems. Friends that you thought you knew and trusted with your life, can turn on you and lie to your face without a single thought. There are some true friends, but those are too few and far between. You can never trust anyone. Sooner of later you will encounter someone who will break your heart and destroy what trust you have left. This is the ugly truth.
I watched helplessly, as I witnessed my former best friend chat aimlessly with her new friends in the vast green courtyard at school, not paying any mind to me, hiding behind a nearby tree. We used to be inseparable, "joined at the hip" our parents used to say. Always went everywhere together, people never saw one without the other. But now... with one little decision....now everything has completely changed, and not for the better.
As I saw her talk with a careless smile as if our friendship meant nothing to her, I felt my heart slowly begin to crumble, finally defeated by the onslaught of emotions being thrown at me. There was an empty piece in my heart where she used to be, always, and now there was a deep hole of betrayal left in her stead.
My stomach churned, leaving me physically sick. But I stayed there, watching her, torturing myself with the sight of her so happy, like a new person I never met. Nothing like the best friend that used to be everything to me.
***
5 years ago"Amy! Wait up!" I, as an 8 year old, called out to her, panting as I struggled to climb the steep hill she was so easily running up.
Her long brown hair spun around as she turned to look at me and giggle.
"Come on, slowpoke! I'm gonna get to the top before you! And then I get to have first bite of cake." Amy said smugly, then turning around to continue running.
We had a big picnic planned that day, with our parents to join us, though we always passed them at the bottom of the hill. We always made it a little game to race each other so the first one gets the prize. In this case, the prize was the first piece of delicious cake her mom had made for us.
I physically crawled the rest of the way, scraping my hands and knees in the process, to the top to find her standing there triumphantly. Her hands were on her hips as she looked down at me with a smug smile on her lips. I let out a groan and collapsed onto my stomach, my hands no longer being able to hold myself up. Pushing myself up again exhaustively, I managed to bring myself to sit on my knees in order to look up at Amy.
"Ha!" She yelled out. "I win, again!" She laughed mischievously, looking down at me with half-closed eyes, a sneer taking up half of her face.
"No fair! You always win." I pouted, looking up at her with a face that will hopefully make her pity me.
No such luck."Aww come on. Here, I can share my piece of cake with you." She said to me, holding her hand out for me to take.
"Amy, you don't have to do that. It's your cake. You won it fair and square." I protested, taking her hand.
"Hmm maybe. But that's what friends do, isn't it?" She giggled, pulling me up so I could stand next to her, "And we're best friends! No matter what."
She smiled at me with a child's innocence.
"Now, come on! Race you to the picnic spot!"
Amy dropped my hands and ran off, leaving me to chase after her with a carelessness I wish I still had.
All that could be heard that day after that was the echoing sound of screaming laughter all throughout the meadow, and all anyone could see were the dark silhouettes of two children chasing each other.
That was probably one of the best days of my life. Filled with fun and the careless smiles of a child, still innocent to all the cruelties of the world.
The innocence of a child. Such a sweet and beautiful thing. If only it was something that could last longer. Mean something more than an empty promise.
***
Now none of that meant anything to her. I'd give anything to be able to go back and erase the mistakes I made, if only to go back to that time and experience everything with her one last time. To appreciate what we had before she betrayed me.
Back in the present, as I was watching Amy and her new best friends interact, our eyes locked. A scowl briefly crossed her face before she turned away from me, flipping her hair and pointedly ignoring me. I sighed and turned my back to the group, leaning against the hard bark of the tall tree I was behind. In the distance, I heard the school bell go off, signaling the end of lunch break. I didn't pay any attention to the loud ring. Turning my head, I glanced at her going inside with her little clique, still talking with no care in the world.
I covered my face, hiding the threatening tears as my body collapsed. I felt the bark scrape against my skin underneath my shirt as I slid down, barely noticing the slight pain. The sharp pinpricks felt like insignificant points of interest to my otherwise conflicting mind.
I huddled on the ground, crouching in the fetal position, covering my face up to my eyes with my knees, wrapping my arms around my legs. I glared fixedly at a point on the wall surrounding the courtyard, forcing myself not to try. Though I could still feel the tears prickling the corners of my eyes, I refused to lift my hand and wipe them, as if acknowledging they were there.
"Why...." I whispered to myself, "Why did you do this to me..? We were friends, and you just.... tossed me away, as if-" My voice cracked, stopping my words.
"As if I was nothing to you."Painful memories flashed in my head.
"... that's what friends do, isn't it?"
"We'll always be together, forever and ever."
"Umm maybe tomorrow, okay? I promised someone else...."
"Get away from me, you creep...."
"What are you doing here? I thought I told you to go away...."
I squeezed my eyes shut, those moments running through me over and over again. I threw my arms over my head, and clasping my hands behind my neck, as if I had the power to erase those memories from my head permanently. I wanted it all to be a nightmare, and I'll someday wake up from it all. Amy and I would be friends again, and none of this will have ever happened....
But it did. And nothing could change that.
Maybe someday I'll get over it, but for now, I can't imagine ever talking to her again without breaking down in tears. For now, I'll keep on pretending that everything is okay when it's not, until I finally have that moment of peace when I wake up for the first time, without crying and sweating over the nightmare of the past. And maybe, just maybe, this all will be a memory of the past and we'll laugh over it one day.
If only.
YOU ARE READING
Short Story Collection
Kısa HikayeThis is just a bunch of one shots I wrote in my free time. Please be aware that I am not a professional, and some of these may be cringey and angsty. These stories do NOT have continuations, nor do I plan to continue them. They are short stories for...