Breaking Free (BXB)

Chapter 16-Home

I found myself in a different cell this time-a lighter cell. My eyes had adjusted a little and I could make out the shapes of other people around me and all the nasty grime of their cells, trying to pretend mine wasn't just as bad. Trying to pretend I wasn't caked in mud and filth and god knows what else. It wasn't working.

I stared endlessly into the dark, trying not to think about the trial-thing. Whatever it was, it was corrupt and it was awful. The fear I could see in the actions of the bystanders was awful. The look I saw on Owen's face was awful. I couldn't take another second more of letting life live for me and letting things go unsaid between us. If I learned anything from this experience it was the feeling of time and the realization that life doesn't go on forever, even if I already knew that, I didn't really know that till now and it left an urgency in my gut that wasn't there before.

My heart tugged and stretched, the look on my father's face, the grime and the fear and the exhaustion that plagued him. I didn't want to think about the idea that I might have to make a choice between the two. Even if I wasn't sure what Owen and I were, I knew he had latched himself onto my heart like a koala, and I wasn't sure I had the heart to detach him. But I also knew that my dad was the only family I had, I could never even think of leaving him here. There was no choice between the two. Not really, anyway. If there was a way I could have both then I would announce the world as a perfect place, but it didn't seem like that would happen, and I knew one day I would break Owen's heart

"Up." This voice was different than the last time someone had used words like that, but I doubt they were really any different. Still, I knew better than to disobey right now. Standing, I let the man slip cuffs onto my wrists, the familiar burn creeping up on me, and I monotonously let him lead me out of the cells and into the light. 

My mind was blank, empty with exhaustion when they pushed past the curtains. There wasn't any light or people in the halls. I guess it would make sense that they would bring me out at night. I probably looked worse than the last time I was out, and I had scared children last time, so I probably looked like a full-on serial killer now.

The man was quiet, with rough hands and something about him that exuded control. I didn't really know whether he was kind or not, but I guess it didn't matter. My sentence was up and I knew where they were taking me. I recognized the turns we made and the closer we got to it, the faster my heart beat. A warm bed, covers, a bath, clean clothes. My heart leaped at the thought. Maybe Owen would be there, waiting for me with open arms and a soft smile. Maybe he would whisper sweet nothings in my ear and hold me till I felt safe again. Maybe I would hold him tighter and confess my feelings. 

My face warmed and suddenly the world didn't feel so hostile anymore. I could ignore the rough hands pushing me forward and the cuffs chafing my wrists and somehow the darkness of the halls didn't seem so gloomy. And then we were there, standing in front of the familiar purple curtain to my room. I could hear the man jingling keys as he fished around for the right one to unlock my cuffs, and I felt a nervous, fluttery feeling in my gut, a deep desire pushing me forward and holding me back at the same time. I felt the corners of my lips turn up.

"You're free to go." He spoke gruffly.

Click.

My body was frozen for a second, the sudden feeling of being free again flooding all of my senses and thoughts and I felt tears well up in my eyes. I had never felt so overwhelmed by a feeling so serene and simultaneously powerful as this, and I couldn't hold myself back any longer. I ran into my room, the biggest smile shining on my face. I felt brighter than the sun at that moment, and before I could register anything else, I saw Owen.