Something I Cannot Forget (Ronnie Radke) {Completed}

The Surprise Of A Lifetime

Chapter Nine

The ride to the clinic was silent.April tried to convince not to do it,but my mind was already made up.The baby deserved better than what I was able to give.I couldn't give it a world of drug abuse,arguing,and sadness,it deserved more than that.I know what it was like growing up without my biological father and I didn't want my baby to have to talk to Ronnie through a jail phone behind a glass window,but what if things changed?Could I actually go through with not giving my baby a chance at life?

As I walked out of the car,there were a bunch of pro-lifers with picket signs protesting.

"Don't do it!Your baby deserves life,it feels pain!"One yelled at me.I tried to shrug off the new feeling of guilt as I reached for the door handle.

When I was about to pull the door open,but then something happened.I dropped to my knees and screaming in pure sorrow.Tears that I never knew existed poured out of my eyes.April jumped out of the car to make sure that I was okay.

"SHAY!!!!Are you okay,whats wrong?"

I shook furiously."I can't...can't do it...my baby needs a chance...a chance at life.."I could no longer support my cruel thought.Even if my relationship with Ronnie didn't last,I would always have our beautiful baby with me.

April hugged me."Let's get you home."

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It had been three weeks since I went to the clinic and I was sicker than ever.The baby was really getting its revenge.I couldn't stop eating and I couldn't keep any of the food down.My mood swings were always going haywire,I threw a vase at April and then broke down crying.I couldn't imagine what it would be like for the next 8 months.All I really wanted was for Ronnie to put his arms around me and tell me that the reward for my suffering would be great,but I didn't know if I would ever see him again.That day was Ronnie's court date and I wasn't sure if I could go through with sitting there and watching.I made sure that I moved extra slow that morning.

"Good morning,Mama Shay."April said to me,sitting a plate of eggs,bacon,and toast in front of me.

I smiled weakly."Thanks,April,but I won't be able to keep it down anyway."

She frowned."That doesn't mean that you shouldn't eat.You do have a child inside of you."

I looked down at my small baby bump."I guess,I'll try to eat...April?"

"Yeah?"

"I have a really bad feeling about today,like everything will go really bad."

She hugged me."I'm sure that everything will be okay soon.Ronnie probably will be home and safe and sound."

I just nodded.Breakfast was slow and as I said,I threw all of it up.I was so sure that something would go wrong.I decided to actually get ready for the court sentencing.I combed my hair then got dressed.I put on a yellow blouse and a black blazer with a pencil skirt.I settled on a pair of black flats because my feet were swollen.I sighed as I looked in the mirror.Normally,I would've said that I looked good,but my nerves were shot and I was afraid for Ronnie.

April did her best to make me feel better when she was driving me.I tried to focus on other things,but everything,in someway,reminded me of Ronnie.Her jokes somehow pulled my mind back to Ronnie.I walked into the courthouse thinking about him,great,that was just what I needed.

"The State Of California Against Ronald Joseph Radke."

I watched in horror as I sat and watched the love of my life,sit in court.He looked so helpless and all I wanted to do was hug him and take him home with me.

"The jury finds Ronald Radke guilty of all charges.You're sentenced to five months in prison."

I dropped my head down,avoiding the rest of the band's gazes,especially my brother's.I couldn't let him see that I was actually feeling something other than the usual,but I noticed the look on my brother's face.He was angry,no,not angry,furious.I could tell that he felt that Ronnie had screwed up everything for the band and I was afraid that he would unleash it all on me.

We all went to my mom's house for lunch that day and I knew that it would not be good.April and my mom gave Lexus evil death glares from across the table and Monte and Robert were trying to avoid the awkwardness by staying focused on my mom's spaghetti.

"Guys,there's someone I want you guys to meet."Max said,when the doorbell rang.

I was terrified.

"This is Craig Mabbit. He's Ronnie's replacement."

Everyone's mouth gaped open except for Monte and Robert's.They must have known about it.

"Hey,I know you,you sing for Blessthefall."Lexus said,with a smirk.

"Well,I did."Craig said,then winking at me.

I felt uncomfortable.He looked like Ronnie,but not in a good way.Almost like he showed the barber a picture of Ronnie when he was getting a haircut,he was a cheap imitation of the real person.He could never be my Ronnie.

I stood up."Wait,you guys already replaced him?!"I yelled.

"Yeah,pretty much.Escape the Fate needs to be taken to another level and Craig can take us there."Max said.

"And you guys are okay with this?!"I yelled at Monte and Robert.

They nodded.

"What about the fans?!Ronnie's only going to be in jail for a couple of months!"

"Well,maybe the asshole will learn a lesson!He dragged all of us down with him!"

I was fuming then.The mood swings were not very helpful either.

"Take that back!No,he didn't!"I said,pushing Max.

"You're actually defending that asshole!"Max yelled back at me.

At that moment,I knew that my blood pressure had gone up too high.I got lightheaded and almost fell down.April,Lexus and my mom rushed to my side.

"Stop it,Maxwell!She's pregnant!"My mom,yelled at him.

"Pregnant?!"

Oh Shit...