I Want To Change The world

19

I walked up the stairs following him, I can't walk beside him not anymore. I am no longer by his side and he is no longer by mine. I am evil. I knew what would happen but I was selfish but I'm weak now and I'll just keep getting weaker and weaker. It's time to leave, It's time to stop this.

I'm in pain and I don't want this life anymore. My dreams gone. I won't even graduate.
I walked in school my last day today.

Itachi opened the door and sat on the bed he pulled my arm I walked over to him so I was standing in between his legs, he brought his face closer to kiss me. I let him. My last kiss with Itachi.

I poured everything into it, it was slow and soft. I smiled sadly when we pulled apart. Itachi put his hands on my waist but I moved away. I took a deep breath.

"Itachi, we need to break up" I felt my heart shatter, he wont even know the half of anything. He wont even get the complete truth and it's all my fault.

"What?" he whispered, his voice so small. "No. Why?" he grabbed my arm, I pulled it away. Tears already falling from my eyes.

"I can't do this anymore, it's not fair to you" I said.

"What are you talking about? Whats not fair?" he stood up and walked closer I moved back, I can't let him touch me. I'll melt right into it.

"Please Itachi, stop we have to end this. Please" I begged moving closer to the door.

"No, I don't understand. We love each other" He said his voice breaking. I cried, my heart shattering more than I thought it could. I hate this, I hate this!

"Please Itachi you have to understand, I didn't mean for any of this, its not your fault." Itachi looked at me, his eyes brimming with unwanted tears. I looked away. I love him so much it hurts, I can't string him along anymore. I've done enough damage.

"I'm sorry, I am so sorry. I love you and I hate myself more than anything for doing this to you. I never meant to hurt you. I didn't mean to fall in love with you! I didn't I just wanted..... I just wanted to love."

I wiped away the tears he's not going to understand anything and its all my fault, I should've told him. We've been together for 5 months now, and I've never felt anything more exhilarating in my life. I wish I could spend every moment of my life with him.

"I wanted to be loved and I did, because of you even if you didn't love me. I still felt loved and that was everything."

"I do love you! What are you talking about" Itachi yelled, I put my hand up to my mouth and bit down trying to keep back a sob. I can't believe I did this. I can't believe I did this.

I just kept quiet and turned around when I knew I wasn't going to start sobbing. I watched him sit on the bed tears falling down his cheeks, I've broken his heart and he probably think he can get me back. Which if I wasn't doing this tomorrow he would he totally and completely would.

He will hold my love forever.

"I am sorry for falling in love with you, I'm sorry for everything" I stepped out of the room and came back in I gave him the painting and left, he's so confused he's so lost, I hate myself! I shouldn't have done this.

I gave him my last painting I'll ever paint, the last thing I will ever draw. The painting of us.

He loves me.

I ate dinner and laughed like it was the last time I ever will with them, because it is.

After dinner I hugged my mom, then I hugged my dad and then I hugged Naruto.

The next day I told them I was staying home from school. They didn't question it I don't feel well. I waited it out, I tried to stop myself but what was the point.

I looked at the clock, it was 1:34 pm I frowned it's now or never. I left the notes to my mom, dad and Naruto on the desk. I grabbed the razor sitting on my desk, my body is weak. I am weak, it's time I leave.

I just wish, my little brother wouldn't be the one to find me, but he will be. I dug the razor deep into my arm, tears falling down my face. One. Two. Three. Three deep lines on one wrist. One more to go.

I screamed in pain, One. Two, the last and final cut, I can feel myself growing tired. I put the razor to my wrist and cried out in pain as I pulled it across my frail skin. Its done. I dropped the razor and fell on my back. Looking at the ceiling. I smiled, I truly am sorry.

I can't help the smile forming, I love thinking of my moms red hair, my dads bright eyes. My brothers laugh. Tobis stupidity. Hidans protectiveness.

"I do love you!" Itachis voice.

He loves me.