Guns and Roses

Two ~ Rya

"You missed your psyscologist appointment again yesterday" Mr Timms says patiently as I sit in front of him. "Why are you so afraid of going?"

Why do I have to go to a psychologist even though I have to sit in here every afternoon and get asked the exact same questions.

I sigh and check the clock. Ten minutes and then I can leave. "I'm not afraid sir. I just think it's a waste of time. There's nothing wrong with me and I don't know why you think there is"

He sits forward in his chair and clasps his hands. "Rya" he says and I start to get comfortable. I can tell this is going to be a long one. "You spent the first three years of your life hiding from the police in a mafia house. Someone tried to kill you before you were old enough to understand why. The majority of time spent with your parents was with a piece of glass in between you. You carry the burden of your name and face the challenges that lays out for you"

I shrug "That's all over now and I don't care what people think when they hear my name. That's their problem not mine. There's nothing wrong with me"

Mr Timms sighs "Have you had another panic attack?" He asks.

I feel my fists clench by my sides "It wasn't a panic attack, I just couldn't catch my breath"

I think back to last week when Mr Timms found me behind the school gasping with tears rolling down my face, my entire body shaking with a fear I'd never felt before. I don't know what cane over me, I was fine and then suddenly I needed as far away from everyone as possible.

Mr Timms nods but he clearly doesn't believe me. I feel the sharp pain in my scalp as I rip a strand of hair from my head. I didn't even realise I had grabbed it until I was shaking it free of my fingers.

He watches every movement and I tuck my hands under my thighs as he finally draws his eyes away. "I'll book you in for tomorrow afternoon again to see your psychologist. Please, just ten minutes"

I scoop my bag up off the floor and roll my eyes "Whatever. See you tomorrow"

I leave his office just as the bell rings and everyone else starts to leave their classes. Within a minute, my phone buzzes with a message from Matthew.

Going to practice then dinner at yours. I got you a little something but you need to go pick it up at the florist.

I slip my phone into my back pocket and head out towards my car. Before I drive off I text my mum to make sure I'm also invited to dinner and it's not just Matthew.

I'll go the flower shop later, I need to pick up a few things from home first.

The drive home is smooth as I leave the town and head out a bit. It takes only ten minutes or so to reach the gates which are unlocked as usual.

I drive through and stop as a man walks over to the car. "Hello Alexander" I say as I lean out of the window.

He smiles and quickly taps something into his phone. "Come on then. Park up and then come in. Lisa's made something, a cake I think"

I nod and he steps back so I can pull into a space. I climb out of the car and the crunch my feet make on the gravel is strangely satisfying.

The tall man wraps an arm around my shoulders and pulls me into his chest. His chin rests on my head and he groans "Have you gotten bigger again?" He asks.

I laugh "What? From this morning?"

He lets me go and walks ahead towards the house. I wave at the man sitting by the door and he nods in return. "So, what brings you home so early? I thought your mum and dad wanted us for dinner?"

We walk into the massive house and I start to take off my jacket and hang it up. "Yeah, but I just want to drop my stiff off here and pick up a change of clothes"

Artie walks out from the basement still wiping his hands. "Oh, you're home early" he says as he sees me. His red hair is slicked back off his face and a spot of blood is on his cheek. He wipes it off with the back of his hand and then waves "I would give you a hug but..." He holds up his hands that are stained red as an explanation.

I roll my eyes "I'm going to get changed. Any chance I can get a lift with you two? My car's nearly empty"

"Fine, just hurry up. I'm hungry" Alexander says as he walks towards the living room. I laugh and run up the stairs to my bedroom.

I love my uncles to pieces. They raised me no questions asked when mum and dad went to prison. I couldn't have asked for better guardians.

I jump onto my bed and sigh as I stare up at the ceiling. I love my uncles to bits but I still can't tell them about what Mr Timms is talking about.

Alexander came from an abusive childhood and he grew from it. He became tough and ruthless. Artie grew up surrounded with violence and drugs and he ended up okay.

I grew up the exact same way everyone else in this house did. I've lived this life my entire life, I've known what is expected of me for as long as I can remember.

Why is it bothering me now?

I feel my eyes burn with tears and I quickly wipe them away. I'm better than this.

****

"Mum! Dad!" I shout as I walk into their small suburban house. It's right in the middle of a normal street, each filled with normal families that live normal lives.

Mum walks out and from first glance, she fits right in.

Her long brown hair is straight today and her large brown eyes are lined with just enough eye liner. She barely wears any other makeup than the red lipstick she's painted onto her lips.

She wears a navy blue and white stripes shirt with dark blue suit trousers and blue pumps.

Then you start to look closer and you see where she stands out. A small scar cuts through her eyebrow and another longer scar runs near her collarbone. Then there's the ankle monitor.

Dad walks out behind her and smiles at me. His white dress shirt is unbuttoned slightly at the top and his black trousers fit perfectly. His tattoos that show through his shirt though scream danger to the families in the area.

"The parole officer was in" Mum sighs "That's why we look like we're going to court" she laughs and pulls me into a hug. "Come on then, Matthew's going to eat everything if we don't move quickly"

****

It's late when I remember about the present at the flower shop. I take Alexander's car to drive to the little shop in the town and when I get there, I see a young boy about my age closing up.

I park quickly and jump out. "Hey!" I call out, startling him. "Sorry," I run over to him "I have to pick something up?"

He frowns at me and then nods to himself. "You must be Rya" he says and then I watch him stare at me for a second and then something clicks. "Come in. I'm Quinn"