Guns and Roses

Thirty ~ Rya

Matthew appears at around 2 o'clock. Quinn's already been gone for hours and I've been slowly going out of my mind sitting alone in my room.

I tried to work through some paperwork in Dad's old office but I still couldn't focus. The pain meds I'm on are pretty strong and I'm finding it hard to focus for long without feeling drowsy.

I've just woken up from a nap when Matthew knocks on my bedroom door. I sit up and rub my eyes. "Come in" I call out in Russian. I should probably start speaking Russian around the house more considering it's the Russian mafia house.

The door opens and Matthew sticks his head around. "I don't know what you said but I'm guessing that it was approval?" He asks before coming in.

I nod and he comes in fully, closing the door behind him. "Sorry I'm so late, Aunt Rosilind was determined that I was spending the day studying"

I forgot that he had exams soon. That means I have exams soon. Shit.

"I wish I was as smart as you. That way I wouldn't have to give up so much time" He sits on the end of my bed and then throws himself backwards.

The pain in my ribs shoots up my side as I try to get out of bed. The meds have worn off and its killing me. "Stay there" he says getting back up and heading for the bathroom. I huff as I sit back again and watch him come back with my painkillers and a glass of water.

"I'm not a cripple" I tell him as I take two of the pills and place the packet on the nightstand. "I don't need you to do everything for me"

He rolls his eyes "Whatever. I like to help, you know that"

I lift up the bed covers and he climbs in beside me. We sit in silence for a few seconds and then I roll over to face him. "Were you still leaving packages at the flower shop when it was attacked?" I ask him.

He frowns as he thinks and then nods "Close enough. I left the last package a few days before. A gun I think" I chew on my lip as I think. "What are you going to do about Quinn?"

I scowl at him "What do you mean?"

He sighs "Even if you don't want to admit it, he's seen too much. He watched the deal with Santiago go down. He shot and killed two people. He's involved in all this now, he can't just walk away from this once you find his grandfather"

"Of course he can. You're planning to" I snap at him "The second he finds out what happens to his grandfather I'm getting him the fuck out of this country and back to Belfast. What happened here will be nothing but a memory"

He doesn't say anything but his face is screwed up. His eyes watch me for a second and then his face softens ever so slightly "Come here" he whispers and then reaches for my face. He leans in and presses his lips against mine.

I melt into his touch and roll over so I'm on top of him. His hands rest on my thighs and then trail up my back so squeeze around my waist. I cry out as he squeezes a broken rib and quickly pull myself away from him.

"Shit" he hisses as he comes after me "I'm so sorry. I totally forgot"

The painkillers still haven't fully set in and now the pain is pulsing. I feel a little bit ill as I try to get into a position that stops it hurting so much.

"Its fine" I tell him sharply "Just give me a second"

"I forgot to be careful" he says worriedly. "I got carried away"

I roll my eyes "I'm not fucking fragile Matt. So just shut the fuck up for a second" The pain starts to fade ecer so slightly and I push myself to a sitting position.

He's completely silent at the foot of the bed. "Its always going to be like this isn't it?" He asks me exasperated "You're never going to let me in. Never going to let me help you"

I glare at him "What makes you think I need your help?"

He shakes his head with a strange smile on his face. "I thought that maybe things had changed. That everything that has happened would make you see that you don't have to suffer alone. I can't keep doing this Rya. I can't keep fighting for your affection constantly" I don't say anything and he purses his lips together "Great. Goodbye Rya. This is the last time"

He hesitates, waiting for me to beg for him to stay. He wants me to finally confess my love to him, but I still can't do it. I still can't push my pride to the side and just tell him to stay.

"Good" I say to him.

He shakes his head in disbelief and leaves the room. I gulp as the door closes, softly. I would have fathered if he had stormed out and slammed the door, but he didn't. I don't know why but it hurt more.

I close my eyes and take a deep breath. My phone is sitting on the nightstand but I don't have anyone to call.

My feet hit the soft carpet and I make my way out of my room. I'm not sure where I'm going yet, but I'm going. I pass Mika's room and hear something muffled. I stop in the hall, just for a second, long enough to recognise the sound of sobs. "Mika?" I shout through. "Everything okay?"

She hiccups and then comes to the door. She wipes her face with the back of her hand as she opens it. "Yes" she says "I'm just watching Up for the first time. I found it in your dad's office but I didn't realise it was so sad"

I nod and take a step back. "You enjoy that now" I tell her and she disappears back into her bedroom. Sometimes I hate this house.

I wonder how Quinn's day is going.