Chapter nine
Tonight, I was restless.
When I went to bed, I lay awake for hours. I stared at the ceilling, blinking and thinking. I replayed the moment again and again when Danny returned from their stroll with a hard look on her face. She tried to smile at me, but I knew that it was forced. I bid goodbye to Ezekiel, Swendal, Irvin and Ruqas. After that, we headed to the cabins without a word.
I heard Danny shifting on the floor. I was on her bed because she insisted the it wouldn't be proper if the guest slept on the floor. She offered and I accepted anyway.
I rolled over and buried my face into the pillow. It would be too awkward if I sigh- Danny would know that I'm awake. And so I held my breath.
I stayed still and focused on my breathing. I didn't feel like I need to draw my breath anytime soon. After a few moments, I thought I exhaled but when I thought about it again, I realized that I've been holding my breath for fifteen minutes already. I rolled my body around and finally released my breath; not because I lack oxygen but because it seemed weird to me not breathing.
As I inhaled, cold air rushed in. For a moment, I enjoyed the feeling of fresh air engulfing my whole system.
I gazed at the window on my right. A red transparent curtain draped over it, hanging on the metal bar above. The moonlight strikes the cloth, leaving a faint glow on the floor. I got up and sat on the bed, looking thorugh the window silently. Calmness swept over me.
My thoughts were blank as I continued to stare. I tilted my head to one side, as if wondering. Not much can be seen, though. Just the moon and the dark sky behind it.
There are no stars.
Just like my life, no purpose.
Although I remained cool, I felt empty, somehow. I had no main reason to live. I do not have a family. The friends I made today know about me as much as I know about myself. I barely know who I am, the barely know me. My life is pointless.
I might as well be a zombie.
However, I do have an immortal life. So maybe it's not as bad as it may seem.
I dropped back to the bed.
But it was.
I turned over, one fourth of a turn, away from the moonlight.
What would I be doing for the next 100 years? To think that I would never die sent a knot of flaming chains inside my stomach. My mind went hazy.
Actually, I might vomit.
But it would be so wrong to vomit on a person's bed, so I held it in.
Would I ever leave Tailsburg one day? Is it even allowed? What would an immortal person do with his life? Can a person be possibly tired of living?
My mind ached of questions. I know I can't answer the questions tonight. If I don't talk with Maushu anytime soon, my head would explode. My head will explode if I don't get any answers.
I noticed Danny sleeping on her makeshift bed. A pillow and a cloth under her. She slept quietly and peacefully, but her face says otherwise.
She was frowning.
Her eyes were closed. She looked worried, and then annoyed, and then sad.
A bad dream, I thought.
I might as well sleep, but I wasn't anywhere near to being sleepy. I sighed and lied flat on the bed. I was silent, my mind empty with thoughts.
And then his picture came to me. His blue electric hair, long lion tail and white eyes made me wonder how the hell he got it. They creep me out but I can't help than be amazed by his appearance.
Is he even real? Or did I just make him up in my head?
But...I didn't fall, because of him. I can't explain what actually happened, but I believe that he is real. Although I have no proof other than my memory; which I can't possibly present to people.
Is he a fairy? A guardian? A weird crossbreed between a lion and a person? And why does he have blue hair? Did he dye it? Do fairies dye their hair?
My mind is again swarming with questions. I took a deep breath and tried to erase the annoying questions one by one, taking them away from my head.
I reached out my arms and legs as if I'm about to make a snow angel. There is no way that I'm going to sleep tonight, my mind is too alive. I tried to keep my mind blank as closed my eyes. I need to sleep, I need to sleep, I need to sleep. After a while, my eyes grew tired, so I opened them. I frowned at the wall.
When is sleep gong to pinch me?
I drummed my fingers on the bed. Waiting for nothing. I imagined that I was floating, on water. The waves carrying me somewhere...safe. I needed not to struggle or else the current will be destroyed, and I will be stuck here forever.
My eyes grew heavy and I sighed. Sleep finally came.
As the water carried me, the sun shined bright high in the sky. A cool breeze brushed over me. I smiled. I felt happy. I can see trees all around me. I tried to touch the leaves. I played with the water, gently splashing it as I went. I was on a wooden craft. Who made it? I didn't remember making one. But nothing can bother me right now, my mind and spirit was relaxed.
Overhead, I see a dead end. Water poured downwards. My senses perked up but my body didn't. I didn't care. I tried to move but I can't. I was too weak. I tried to struggle but not even an inch was moved.
And then I fell.
My eyes opened in a snap.
I looked around, stil dark. I groaned slightly. This is hopeless. Somehow, Irvin made his way into my thoughts.
If only I was human, my heart would've exploded from beating too fast. He is so annoying but so charming at the same time. I just met him...but...but, I don't know.
Ugh, stop this Anastasia.
I rolled my eyes at myself and breathed heavily. I flicked my head to the right, towards the window. The moon was still shining bright, high and majestic in the black sky above.
I wish I knew what time it was.
I wiggled around in place, searching for a clock. I stood up and ducked under the covers and over the tops. I tiptoed across the room, silently making my way around the bed. The room was quite big for just Danny, I thought as I stood in awe. I haven't appreciated it as much the first time this morning because I was in shock, from my lack of knowledge about my past and everything else after that.
My body ached from rolling restlessly on the bed. I took a step forward and reached Danny's desk. On top of it was her mirror. The first time I saw it, I felt a pull. An abnormal pull, a pull of attraction. And now, I'm feeling it again. I stepped closer, my hand trembling. My whole body is itching to touch the mirror.
You want it. Get it and it's yours forever.
I shook my head, confused. What was that? I glanced at the mirror, lust instantly filled me up. I looked away. Why did I want it? Why did I feel that I need it? I did not feel this feeling this morning, right?
You want the mirror. You can have it.
There it goes again. I covered my ears, and closed my eyes. I heard nothing but I didn't open my eyes, yet. I was afraid to look, because when I did, I might never come back.
Light hit the ground beneath me. I frowned, where was this coming from? I raised my head slowly, concious of my surroundings. I gazed at the window before me.
The sun has risen.
I've been standing here for hours, and I didn't even notice.
End of Chapter nine
THIS CHAPTER IS LATE BUT GRADE 8 IS HARD WITH ALL THE ASSIGNMENTS AND QUIZZES SO YOU NEED TO UNDERSTAND OK.
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