Dedication Takes a Lifetime (Jalex boyxboy)

iv. someone name this

~Trigger Warning~

I was lying in my bunk with my headphones in, but the music wasn't really helping. I didn't even know what had triggered this onslaught of emotions.  I could hear Jack watching something on the TV so I decided to go out and join him, hoping that being with someone would help. I wiped away my tears before making my way over to the lounge where Jack was.

"Hey Lexy," he greeted me as he put his phone down and started to softly peck my neck.

"Hey Jack," I replied and immediately regretted it because I knew he had heard the distance in my voice.

"Are you okay?" He asked looking up at me.

"Fine," I tried brushing him off, but of course my boyfriend knew me too well and could see straight through my lies.

"Now look me in the eyes and tell me that." I shifted on the couch so I was now facing him.

"Jack I'm fine," I smiled at him, but I could tell from the look he was giving me that he knew I was lying.

"Lexy what's wrong?"

"Nothing," I replied. Although it wasn't technically true I wasn't sure what actually was wrong.

"We both know that's not true. Talk to me Lex, tell me what's going on," Jack wrapped his arms around my waste and leaned down letting his forehead rest against mine.

"It's nothing. I'm fine," I smiled again as I leaned in pressing my lips against his.

"I'm okay Jack I..."

"Don't you dare even finish that sentence! You don't have to talk to me, just don't lie to me," he whispered making my body shiver and my heart break slightly.

"I'm okay Jack. I'm just thinking about things. It's okay." It wasn't and in that moment I want sure who I was trying to convince more.

"You don't have to do this alone."

"I know Jay." I kissed him again before staring at the screen in front of us. A couple of minutes later Matt poked his head around the telling us that we needed to get ready as we were in in half an hour.

--

The show went great as usual apart from one incident of someone calling me a faggot. Jack instantly made me feel better using humor to put that person right, but it didn't really help the mood I was in. Instead it caused my thoughts to start replaying it over and over in my head, bringing my mood down more. Today, I was not having a good day and every negative thing played on my mind constantly.

After Rian asked where the showers were, I picked Jack up and started to make my way towards them. Fifteen minutes later we were out and just getting dressed when Rian told us about a party one of our support bands, Pierce the Veil, were having on their bus. I didn't really feel like going but I knew Jack wanted to and the lure of alcohol was tempting right now.

When we eventually turned up, Jack wandered off to get a couple of drinks and I interacted for a little while. Talking to Zack, Mike and Austin about something I wasn't really paying attention to before I walked over to the couch and settled down. As the night went by a couple of people tried joining and talking to me, but after it became apparent that I didn't want to talk they got up and left. Jaime joined me for a little while telling me that he wasn't going to leave me alone even when I had asked him politely to leave when his company was too much for me to handle, so we ended up sitting in silence and just drinking.

--

I was drunk, but not drunk enough for my liking. I had lost sight of Jack hours ago, but I didn't mind so much; he was having fun and that was what mattered. I decided to just go back to our bus as I wasn't doing anything here and I was probably dampening everyone else's mood. I quickly scanned my eyes around the bus, so I could let him know I was going back but I couldn't see him, instead seeing Zack. I told him where I was going in case anyone wanted to know where I was, but before I left I nabbed a bottle of Jack Daniels.