My Little Stargazer(Adopted by Remington Leith)

(17) - Losing

"Hello?"
"Mr. Leith! I'm afraid I have some. . . news. Cherry's father is out of prison. And per the legal agreement she's being put back in his charge." I couldn't think. Couldn't breathe.
"Oh." I managed to squeak out.
"I'm sorry. I know how difficult these things are. She's expected at her father's house in three days." Jess Meyer's voice was distant and fuzzy. Cherry was squirming so I put her down and she ran off giggling. "I'm sorry, Mr. Leith." She ended the call and I lost all ability to stay upright. My knees buckled and I sank to the floor. My phone slipped out of my hand and clattered to the floor. I tugged at my hair with both hands as I tried to think. To breathe. My chest felt tight. My vision was getting dark.
"Remington!" Sebastian's voice was faint. Someone grabbed my shoulders.
"Remington, look at me." I looked up into Emerson's eyes and tried to breathe.
"Can't-" I got out.
"Can't what? Remington?"
"C-Can't-" I tried again. Concern covered Emerson's face.
"Deedee?" Hearing her little voice just made it all worse. She pushed between Emerson and I. "Deedee? Whath's 'ong?" I wanted to hug her, kiss her, tell her I loved her and that I was sorry. Sebastian picked her up. She didn't argue or complain. I closed my eyes and tried to breathe. Tried not to panic. Emerson grabbed my face with both hands and I opened my eyes.
"Breathe." Was all he said. I nodded and took a few deep breaths. I dropped hands from my hair and Emerson gave me a hug. I calmed down and tried to smile. To pretend that things were okay, or would be okay. I stayed on the floor, Emerson in front of me, still confused and concerned.
"What happened?" Emerson asked.
"I have to find a flight to Houston." I mumbled.
"What? Why?"
"Because her dad is out of prison and she has to go back."
"Oh. Sorry, Rem." Emerson said.
"Yeah. Sorry." Sebastian added. I knew what would happen to her. I hated knowing. I couldn't do that to her. Not again. She'd been through it God knows how many times because no one cared about her, no one loved her. And then I had a thought. It was crazy, but it just might work. I glanced around and picked up my phone. I flicked through my contacts before finding Mom. I waited while it rang. My heart was racing.

———

"Remington?" She sounded tired.
"Hi." Deciding I didn't want to have this conversation with Sebastian and Emerson right there I stood up. "I'll be right back." I told them and walked through the empty venue and back stage. "I'm losing her."
"What?"
"Cherry. I'm losing her. Her dad is out of prison. She has to go back."
"Oh."
"But I-I can't let her go back. You know that."
"I do, but-"
"I want to adopt her."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes."
"If you think that's the best decision then do it, but consult with Monica. Don't leave her in the dark again."
"I do. You don't think I'm being stupid? Or impulsive?"
"Honey, you're an adult. If you feel you're ready for this, then you are. And that little girl will have a great father, who loves her and protects her." I smiled.
"Thank you, Mama. I should go call Monica."
"Sure. Love you, sweetie."
"Love you too, Mom." I ended the call and called Monica.
"I have a question." I told her.
"Okay." Monica said. "What?"
"I want to adopt Cherry and I want know that you not going to leave and that you'll support my decision." She was quiet for a few minutes and I started to worry. "I'm gonna lose her, Mon. She's being sent back to her dad. He-I can't let her go back." She sighed.
"Rem, that's a big commitment and she doesn't even like me."
"Please, Monica. You don't know what she's been through." She sighed again.
"If you really want to do this then I won't stop you. Hell, if you want me to adopt her with you I will. I plan to be here for the long haul and that little girl needs a mother too." I grinned.
"Are you sure?"
"Yes."
"I love you, Mon."
"Love you too. See you in a few weeks."
"Yeah. See you." After ending my call with Monica I tried calling Jess. I tried twice and when she didn't answer I left a voicemail asking her to call me back as soon as possible.
"Deedee?" I picked her up and hugged her tightly. "Deedee?" She asked again.
"I love you, my little Stargazer."
"'Ove you too, Deedee!" She wrapped her arms around my neck and placed a sloppy kiss on my cheek. I knew it wasn't certain, I could still lose her. I still had to take her back to Houston. But at least I had a plan.
"Rem?" Sebastian asked. I looked up at him.
"Yeah?"
"We still have to do soundcheck." I nodded.
"Yeah. Yeah. We're gonna have to postpone Thursday's show. I have to go to Houston." He sighed, but nodded.

———

   During the concert that evening I kept zoning out, getting lost in my thoughts. I was restless that night in the bunk Cherry and I shared. I couldn't sleep, anxiety keeping me awake. Cherry slept for a bit, but around four am she woke up and slid out of the bunk. We sat and stargazed for awhile until she fell asleep in my lap. I thought about getting back in our bunk, but I was kind of comfortable and I was afraid of waking her up. So I closed my eyes and slept for a few more hours before we had to catch our flight.
   Long days and sleepless nights lay ahead of us. But I would fight with all that I had to make sure she didn't get sent back to the horrible man. Because she didn't deserve that. Because I couldn't handle losing her. Because she couldn't handle losing me. Because she was my daughter.