Ferris Wheel

Forgiven

"I..." I sighed. "I am a good friend to Lola, and even if i did have feelings for you, whatever we have now, needs to end." I said before walking away from him

"So you do have feelings for me." He stayed where he was. I paused at my door.

"Maybe." I heard him get up. His arms wrapped around me, hugging me from behind.

"You really need to stop worrying about other people and take control of what you really want," he whispered in my ear. I pulled away from him and looked to him.

"What I really want is my friend, as much as I would love to have a guy in my life to confuse the shit out of me, and fuck me whenever he feels horny, I would rather have a friend who actually cares about how I feel." He looked stunned.

"Ever, I do care-"

"Get out Ezra."

"Ever-"

"Get out!" I yelled. He sighed and pushed past me and left my apartment. Tears immediately followed as the apartment door slammed closed. I moved to my bed and curled up. I'm such a horrible friend. What kind of friend breaks the code behind her friends back to hang out with her ex? Especially when she told me not to. I lied to her. I'm such a horrible friend.
—
At midnight I started packing my stuff. I had all my clothes packed into suitcases by one, so I started packing all my books and papers from writing. It didn't take me long to have everything packed in boxes in my room. I then took an empty box and went to the kitchen and started emptying the kitchen cabinets of all the dishes that were mine, wrapping them in newspaper so they didn't break in the box. Then I stumbled upon the liquor cabinet. I grabbed the bottle of Jack Daniels we had and started drinking straight from the bottle while I packed, taking a swig every now and then. It didn't take me long to feel the buzz, but I kept drinking. By two in the morning I heard the door open and close.

"What are you doing?" She asked.

"Y-you sssaid you wanted mme gone inn the m-morning." I looked up to her. She had a scratch on her forehead and a cut open lip.

"You're trashed." She realized. "Come on let's get you sober-"

"I thought you w-wanted me gone..."

"We can talk about that when you aren't trashed, Ever." She said and tried to grab the bottle of whiskey. I pulled away from her. "Ever, you need to stop drinking, have you even eaten anything? You're gonna get sick-"

"Why do you care?" I asked, taking another swig, "I'm the one who hurt you, I'm the one who always hurts you..."

"Ever, I'm not mad anymore okay? I just need you to stop drinking or you're gonna end up in the hospital." She said.

"Why can't you just let me die then?" Tears fell down my face.

"Ever, give me the fucking whiskey. I don't want you to die. You have so much to live for, and despite what happened yesterday, I still love you. You're my best friend."

"I'm a shit friend."

"Yeah, well so am I." She said holding her hand out for the bottle. I hesitated before giving her the bottle. She sighed and put it on the counter.   She grabbed a glass and started filling it with water. "Now drink a shit ton of water, because I know that bottle was full and you drank so much of it." I nodded and did as she said.

"Am I moving out?" I asked

"We should talk about that in the morning-"

"Just tell me if you want me to move out Lola." I said.

"I always know your serious when you say Lola..." she smiled. "I don't want to have to elaborate again after you wake up okay? Let's just focus on getting you sober." She said. I nodded and she gave me some crackers to eat. After awhile of talking and everything she sent me to the couch to sleep.
—
I woke up and immediately ran to the bathroom and threw up. I don't think I have ever threw up so much in my life. Unfortunately it got in my hair. After I finished I felt weak, and had a pounding migraine. I slowly stood up and I flushed the toilet and rinsed out my mouth before taking some excedrin for my migraine. I started taking off all my clothes and I got in the shower and I washed my hair and my whole body. I stayed in there till the water ran cold and I got out and wrapped a towel around my naked body. I brushed my teeth before picking up all my clothes and going to my bedroom. Shit. I forgot I packed everything. I have to talk to Lola... I opened a suitcase and I grabbed a tank top and some shorts and boy short underwear and put them on before towel drying my hair and throwing it up in a bun. I then went downstairs to find Lola making breakfast.

"Morning, sunshine." She said. Her lip was swollen. My eye must be too by the way she was looking at me. "There's coffee in the pot..." she said. I nodded and moved to get a mug from a box and poured myself some. "Are you happy with him?" She asked.

"I don't know." I answered honestly.

"Cut the shit, Ever." She said. I looked to her.

"I'm serious. We talked but mostly just had sex. He was there for me but I never got to know him like... like I wanted to." I said.

"Do you like him?"

"Yes." I answered honestly.

"Why?"

"Lola-"

"Is he just sexy or do you actually like him?"

"I actually like him." I took a drink of my coffee. "But I cut him off. I told him that he's not worth losing my friend." She looked down.

"Ever I don't want you to be unhappy. So if he is what makes you happy I want you to go for it." She said. "But I do want you to move out."

"Why?"

"Because I am going to move in with Jake." She said.

"Are you two a thing?"

"Yeah..." she smiled

"How long?"

"We have been on and off for awhile..." she smiled softly. I nodded. "He um... proposed to me last night, and thats why I came back but I saw you and Ezra..."

"Oh my god! What did you say?" I said excitedly. She held up her hand revealing a ring.

"I said yes..." she smiled. I put my coffee on the counter and moved to hug her.

"Congratulations, Lola." I said. She hugged me back.

"Thank you." I pulled away slowly. "But I can't get married without my best friend." She smiled. "I know I just called you a slut... and a cunt... but will you be my maid of honor?" She asked. I couldn't help but laugh slightly.

"Yes, of course I will be, Loler." I couldn't help the tears coming to my eyes. I was so happy for her.