How I Wish

CHAPTER I

Chapter I (Edited)

For as long as I remembered I had wished to die.

But when faced with the yawning abyss of darkness, I quickly changed my mind.

It was amazing how life could be put in perspective when you found yourself staring at your distorted reflection from the rim of a barrel. Maybe it was the terror that flickered in my dull-green eyes, or the gleeful expression of the step-monster who grasped my dirty hair in her garbled claws.

"Little whore, are you ready?" She whispered against my ear, making me flinch as her breath slivered over the skin of my neck. I sensed the grin that spread across her ruby-painted lips at my reaction to her hateful words.

My stepmother has always loved her ownership over me.

Without waiting for a reply, she forced my head down and I took a gulp of air as my face was submerged into ice-cold water. Flinching from the chill, I closed my eyes as I fought the urge to fight – knowing she would keep me pinned if she thought for an instant that I wouldn't accept my punishment.

My pulse thundered in my ears and my lungs began to burn from the lack of oxygen as slow moments passed. My bare knees scraped against the stone floor as she pressed her body into mine – forcing my head further into the barrel, her hands tightening in my hair as if concerned I would fight.

Fear loomed as seconds continued to tick by, with no reprieve from the ice-cold water. My lungs began to scream for air and my vision wavered as she forced me to remain still, my hands scrapping against the rough wood of the barrel.

Was she going to kill me this time?

The thought sent shivers down my spine.

I didn't want to die.

I began to thrash for all I was worth as I realised, she wasn't letting go. I didn't want to die sucking in huge gulps of ice-cold water as my body twitched in the throes of death.

Water poured into my mouth as I screamed, choking me as I swallowed the dirty water and I continued to thrash forcing my body back into my stepmothers who barely budged from my weakening attempts at escape.

Please let me go, I don't want to die.

As if hearing my plea, my head was pulled out of the bucket and I choked and spluttered as glorious oxygen filled my struggling lungs.

My heart rate began to slow as I spewed water across the floor beneath my shivering body, but before I could open my eyes thinking the punishment was over, my head was once more forced into the barrel.

Tears poured from my eyes as the monster continued to hold my head down before pulling me out just before I passed out. This continued on for what felt like an hours before she thankfully dropped me ungraciously to the hard-cold floor, and I barely managed to catch myself before my head smacked against the stone.

"You're lucky I let you live." She sneered down at me as I continued to vomit the water from my lungs, before continuing. "Never forget the mercy I show you daughter because I could as easily decide to kill you next time." Sharp clicks of her shoes echoed across the floor as she left me soaked and trembling on the floor, with her parting words echoing in my ears.

When I finally managed to stop gasping for air, my vision once more clearing I slowly pushed up to my hands and knees.

I hated her.

I hated how easily she broke me, over and over again.

I hated that she knew she owned my life – choosing how and when to let me live.