Hollywood Journey

Staying Together

"Why did you have to pick somewhere so freaking humid? This is ridiculous!" I brush my now huge hair behind my ears as Brad laughs at my overreacting "Seriously! My hair is as big as the freaking tree behind us."

"See, this is why we don't get away much. I pick somewhere nice and your ungreatfull ass complains the whole time. When we divorce in 5 years because of your complaining please tell our children the real reason why."

"My complaining? My complaining is nothing compared to you on the flight when I won and got to pick what movie we watched!"

As we continue our dinner the sun sets into the ocean. The sky behind Brad, more beautiful than I ever remember seeing it, leaves a welcoming shadow.

The warm, salty breeze may be messing with my hair and driving me crazy, but it also reminds me of our favorite place: this very beach where we've always come for support and love.

The same beach we stayed at for our honeymoon, the place where I told him I was pregnant with Nolan, the first vacation we took as a family of 3.

"You know, if it's possible I think you look more beautiful here than anywhere else," He leans across the table, reaching for my hand, "I know we haven't been on the best terms lately and things have been harder than normal, but we're going to be okay. I'll be pissing you off for the next 50 years."

"Just promise me one thing, okay? We'll always make time for this, for us and our relationship. I already feel so much better just being here with you."

"I promise."

The waiter comes around with some more wine and the / desserts we ordered. I dig into the dessert right away, wanting as much of it to myself before Brad gets a chance to eat any. He takes it from me, asking for a to-go box surprising me since I was planning on eating it.

"Come on, let's go for a walk." He gets up, holding his wine glass and reaching out for my hand "The beach is almost empty, and the dessert can wait."

We walk down to the beach hand in hand, sipping on our much needed wine as we take in the scenery. He wraps his arm around my waist, pulling me closer as we walk along the shore line letting the waves rush up against our ankles to cool us down.

"Do you remember the first time we came here? When we first started dating and I wanted us to get away from the media? I thought here would be perfect."

"And it was. It's always perfect here. I remember every time, all the amazing memories. All the fun, even the horrifying stomach bug."

"You were so sick that week, I really felt bad for you not being able to eat all the Mexican food you love. I came up with some really cute hair styles for you while holding your hair back, though."

"Yes, babe you really did great with that. I loved them."

I lean into him as I rest my head on his shoulder where I feel more comfortable than ever. He rubs my arm as we continue walking, thinking about everything we've faced and overcome, all the good and the bad.

"I love you," He leans in for a kiss as we stop walking "So much."

"I love you more."

"I was thinking about something..." I stop walking to get his attention as I think of what to say "... I want another baby."

He freezes, scaring me. He always wanted a big family, he should be happy about this.

"But you were so sick. Do you really want to put yourself through that again? All the dizziness and struggling?"

"Just because I had that last time doesn't mean I will again. I didn't have any problems with Nolan... I'd put up with any of it for another baby."

"I'm almost 40 Jen. I don't really want to be chasing more toddlers around."

I try not to laugh at his ridiculous comment, knowing that he's only 38 and he is constantly getting the boys riled up so that he can chase Nolan around, not showing any signs of stopping that anytime soon.

"When we got married you told me immediately that you wanted a big family. You have always said that, and I want to give that to you. I want to have a daughter, or another boy if that happens, but either way I want to give you what you wanted."

"I just don't know. If you ended up with preeclampsia again I'd feel terrible. I can't be the reason you're that sick or hurt again."

He stops for a while, thinking seriously about the idea "... or what if your labor would be really long again? I hate seeing you in pain like that."

"I don't want to force you into this, but I'm willing to take the chances. I'm not exactly young either, I never expected to want another child this late in my life, but I never expected to only have my first child at 32 either. Things happen, it's a different timeline than we expected, but I couldn't imagine our lives any other way than how they are. If I get sick then I put up with it. I won't be thrilled, but I'll just have to take a step back and relax, and as for the labor, it could end up being 2 hours or 2 days. But we both know everything is worth the baby. I really want this."

"Promise me it wont be for at least another year."

"Oh yeah, definitely. You don't need to worry about that."

"Okay, then let's have another baby."

"Really? You mean it?"

"Just don't change my mind."

"I wouldn't even dream of it."

I grab his hand, leading the way as we continue to walk along the beach, taking in everything.

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