heavy-hearted | fillie

twenty seven

so close to being in love,
if I would've known that you wanted me,
the way I wanted you
maybe we wouldn't be two worlds apart,
but right here, in each others arms
——————

She didn't know what to do but shift on her feet unconfortably, avoiding eye contact with Finn as much as possible. Why was he just speaking to her normally? They both stood in the corner of the kitchen, looking like they are exchanging a normal conversation - it didn't look like he was letting her down in the slightest. Instead, her smile was radiant and Millie wondered how the fuck she looked like that after a night of drinking and hardly any sleep.

She felt stupid as she filled up the sink with warm bubbly water. She wanted her to leave so badly, or she wanted to leave the situation so badly, but she didn't have a say. If Finn wanted her there, then here she'll stay.

Her head twitched to the side a little when she heard her ethereal laugh echo through the kitchen and even though Sadie's eyes were deader than ever, she still gave Millie a knowing look that she shrugged off. She was trying not to care, that was until she gripped the kitchen sink with her whole hand, her fingers turned white - she was about to throw up. The amount of alcohol she consumed last night, she was surprised she didn't throw up sooner. So, she left the sink with wet, bubbly hands and bolted it around the corner to reach the downstairs toilet.

The sick was practically water, the drink spewing out of her from the previous night. She hated being sick, it was always a fear of hers as she never breathed when she was actually throwing up. So, a small tear fell down her cheek in the process. She felt Finn beside her, bundling her hair back as she got the contents out of her stomach, and she finally stopped after a minute or two.

"You ok?" Finn asked, letting go of the small amount of hair he held back within his palm, tangled in between his fingers. Millie wiped her mouth with the back of her hand as she moved so that she was fully sat on the bathroom floor. She wasn't ok.

"I-I mean no. No, we kissed last night, Finn." She stated, the small reminder made the corners of Finn's lips twitch up as he nodded along with her words. He was asking her if she was physically ok, but she told him how she felt about the situation instead.

"We did." He confirmed, sitting down next to her as he didn't break eye contact, it made Millie's chest feel heavy and nervous when he looked at her the way he did. A smirk resided on his lips, remembering the contact as clear as day, physically not being able to wait for their second encounter. He swore it would be soon.

"Yeah, we did. And she's here, for you. The kiss might not have meant a lot to you but it did for me and-"

"Woah." Finn interrupted, closing his eyes as he shook his head profusely. She was so wrong.
"No, it meant a lot to me too. What makes you think it didn't?"

He didn't let it be known, but he was slightly offended by the input. Millie shrugged, flushing the toilet as the loud sound drowned out the quiet atmosphere around them.

"Because she's still here, you haven't asked her to leave."

"You want me to ask her to leave?" He asked, making sure that he got what she was inferring. She didn't want to, but she nodded smally, shrugging her shoulders again. The jealousy dripped off of her and he couldn't help but find it more attractive, in a weird way it showed that she cared for him. She wanted his attention, she didn't want it on another girl who she constantly compared herself to.