Parile

Chapter 2

No one wants to move their seats so I get stuck sitting next to Charlie which makes me very anxious because I don't want to talk him much less sit by him. I also continued to sit by them at lunch and Sam kept saying he had to come over sometime. A part of me was very interested in this boy but a bigger part was terrified I didn't want to grow attached to this boy.

-

I reluctantly sit in my now normal seat next to Charlie and start modeling my shelf I'm being forced to build.

"good morning Patrick," Charlie says cheerfully

"morning," I grumble, I don't mind him being nice but it was hard to avoid him when he's such a nice person. I continue working on my blue print and stay quiet. A few minutes later Charlie looked at me again and said "You don't talk much do you?"

I keep sketching and replied "Nope."

He sighed and continued working on his project. I don't know why he wanted to talk so much, I'm not that interesting and he could make much better friends. I finished enough work for the day and decided to spend the rest of class napping.

I woke up to Charlie shaking me awake and jumped up and fell off the stool. "Fuck that hurt," I muttered after I stood up. I then noticed everyone else was gone including the teacher. "Thanks uh for waking me up instead of leaving," I stuttered while looking at my hands blushing, he smiled and replied "you're welcome." He then left the classroom, I sighed and gathered my stuff and walked to the next class. The day went by slowly and I couldn't stop thinking about how nice Charlie was despite how badly I treated him. I felt guilty for treating him so poorly but I didn't want to give my dad another reason to attack me everytime I visited him. I wish I didn't have to visit him but I was forced to despite my protests.

I slowly walked to the cafeteria wishing I could sit with someone else but if I did I would probably just get cussed out. My only friends were the ones who now sat with Charlie, he had been taken into my group and there was nothing I could do to change that. I wish I could just change and be interested into women like every other man in the fucking universe. Maybe if I dated one I could learn to love them, and turn normal even though the thought make me want to puke I considered it for a moment.

I was pulled out of my thoughts by Sam running up to me and pulling me into a bear hug. "Hey dork you're out of class stop thinking so hard. She then dragged me to our table and sat down next to me, while everyone else got in line to buy the school's food. "Why don't you like Charlie?" she asked me, she knew about the things I struggled with so I trusted her enough to tell her the truth, "I... can't get attached to him..." I slowly replied fighting back tears.

Sam pulled me into a hug and whispered in my ear "Honey it's not your fault you're attracted to men don't listen to your thoughts it's okay to be who you are and if you're attracted to Charlie that's okay, you can still be his friend or even more, mom will love you either way and so will I."

She squeezed me and then pulled away and kissed my cheek "I love you Pat." After she turned back to the table instead of facing me everyone else showed up and sat down. Charlie smiled at me and sat down next to Mary-Elizabeth and the only empty seat at our table. They all then launched into a conversation I didn't bother listening to as I thought about if what Sam said was true. I knew Sam would support me no matter what and my mom reassured me when I came out that she still loved me, but I never mentioned it after that, so what if she thinks it was just a phase and I'm normal now? What would she do if I brought a boy to the house and said he was my boyfriend? Would she hit me and call me a faggot? Would she be supportive still?

After lunch my mind was still flooded with what ifs, my brain wouldn't stop questioning everything. I still couldn't shut it off after school let out I quickly went to my car only to find Charlie and Sam by my truck. "Uh hi?" I questioned. Sam speaks up and says "Hey Pat Charlie needs help studying and is coming over there isn't room in my car so can you give him a ride home?"

I glare at my step-sister and say "Fine.. Charlie hop in," I then get in my truck and start the engine. I turn on the radio and Charlie lets out a gasp and screams "I love this song!"

"Yeah me too," I reply and pull out of the parking lot.

*********

Sorry this chapter isn't that interesting :/