You didn't want to do this.
Steve had tried to explain, but it seemed irrational. You couldn't accept it, despite it being what Bucky wanted. Your heart hurt to badly just thinking about it.
The low whirring of the machines did nothing to quell the ache in your chest. He sat, perched up on the table. He looked relaxed, yet a bit nervous underneath. The white tank accented the now-missing arm and it made your blood boil.
You'd never forgive Stark for that.
He smiled when he saw you, extending his arm, gesturing for you to come closer. Steve gave you a slight nudge before moving out of the way. Stumbling slightly over your feet, you made your way to him.
"I worried that you wouldn't come," he sighed softly, his hand caressing you cheek. Your eyes fluttered shut for a moment, just taking him in. "I was scared you'd change your mind."
Your eyes opened, meeting his. You knew you couldn't hide the pain. "Never," you said, shaking your head. You couldn't have stayed away if you'd wanted to. Not now, not after everything.
Years of searching had finally led you back to him, your soulmate. And he was preparing to leave again, effectively leaving you heartbroken.
"Trust in me, Sweetheart," he said, kissing you. Your lips molded with his and you breathed him in, like it would be the last time. You hoped it wouldn't. "It's going to be okay."
"Why does it feel like it's not?"
He couldn't miss the doubt in your voice. He frowned a bit, worried now. Was he doing the right thing?
"As long as it's all here," he told you, tapping the side of his head, "I'm a danger to everyone. Sweetheart, I'm a danger to you. And I don't want to hurt you." You shook your head. You wanted to tell him that wasn't true, that he'd never hurt you.
But he had.
He smiled sadly, knowing where your mind was. "I don't agree with this," you whispered as your eyes flickered toward the cryo chamber and he sighed softly. "Just...give us time to find a cure, Buck. Please."
He shook his head. He'd made up his mind and you could see it in his eyes.
"I'm not asking for your approval," he said honestly, "I'm not asking you to understand, Love. But this...I need to do this. For me. For you. For us."
"I'm asking you to wait for me."
Despite your hesitation and the stinging pain in your chest, you agreed. You'd wait if that's what you had to do. You'd waited before, and again. You could do it once more if it meant holding him in your arms.
"After this, we're free."
________
You watched as they put the arm on, the black vibranium glittering in the early morning light. It felt wrong, this intrusion. You'd had a few weeks of happiness, bliss. You felt like you had before, because you had each other.
Now war was coming again.
"It'll be okay...," he told you, wrapping you in both arms. You should have felt comfort, yet you only felt dread. Kissing you, he pulled back to stare into your eyes. "We've waited for each other for so long. We're so close to peace and happiness."
"We can wait a little longer."
______
You felt that dread again.
That feeling of impending doom. It washed over you, all over everything. You were losing this battle. You'd thought you'd seen everything, but this...
This was different.
You'd lost sight of him awhile ago, but tried to convince yourself that he was okay. Bucky was a soldier. He could hold his own in war. He'd be fine.
Time slowed down. It felt like the world stopped for a moment as you watched Thanos rip the stone from Vision. Your heart wrenched at the agony on Wanda's face. You could feel her pain.
It was a pain you understood all too well.
Thor's appearance briefly filled you with hope. He'd come to save you all, but it was snatched away before you could take a breath. He snapped his fingers, disappearing. And that feeling of dread returned in full force.
You could feel the shift, a change in the air. You turned your head to look at Steve when you heard the rustling. And he was gone before you could register what had happened. Just like that...he turned to dust.
"What happened?!," you screamed out, running over and dropping to the spot he'd landed. Looking up, you watched as Wanda disappeared and heard the cries of confusion from the others. Your eyes glued back to the spot, you couldn't breathe.
"Oh God...," you heard Steve mutter and your wondered how many. How many had suffered the same fate. He was gone, your love.
Gone again.
You felt strong hands lift you, too shocked to fight, you simply gave up. Your body ached and you realized briefly that you'd been crying. He was really gone. But he'd be back. He had to. He always came back.
So you'd wait.
