"Hold on."
You huffed as your boyfriend of exactly two years fell behind a few steps, bending down on one knee. He looked up at you with a twinkle in his eye and your heart stopped for a second. Was he...?
"Gotta tie my shoe, Dollface."
Fucking Bucky Barnes.
"Wha?," he laughed at the look at your face, pulling you into his strong arms. Disappointment was evident in your eyes. You were absolutely sure that he was finally, finally going to propose.
"Ah!," he grinned. "Did you think...?," he eyed you closely and you shook your head, admittedly embarrassed. "Oh, sweetheart," he cooed, kissing your forehead. "I'm sorry."
"It's fine, Buck," you lied. You'd been waiting for what felt like forever. But it seemed like it just wasn't going to happen. It's not like Bucky was a commitment phobe. Far from it. You were happily living together for nearly a year now. Things were good.
Weren't they?
"Baby," he sighed, holding your face and searched your eyes for a long moment. "I promise. It's gonna happen. But I wanna surprise you. I wanna do it right, okay? I want it to be the best proposal ever."
You smiled and nodded. That should have been enough to satisfy you. But it was wasn't.
****
Another six months passed and Bucky was a disaster.
He just couldn't figure out how to do it. He didn't want to be too over the top. You'd hate that. He didn't want to make a scene, you'd hate that, too. And he definitely didn't want to ask you in front of others.
He just couldn't come up with anything.
"I don't know," Steve shrugged. "Maybe take her on vacation. Ask her on the beach at sunset?"
"God, she'd think that was so lame, Steve."
"Take her to dinner? Ask her there."
Bucky shook his head. "She'd murder me if I asked her in public."
You, on the other hand, were starting to panic.
Maybe he just really didn't want to marry you.
The thought made you sick. Was that something you could handle? Maybe not. You were happy just living together, right? Happily unmarried? Was that a thing?
Maybe.
But you wanted more. And you couldn't tell him because you didn't want to push it and risk him pulling away from you. If you pressured him, he'd certainly run for the hills.
"Ask him," Nat suggested and you rolled your eyes. "I don't wanna do that, Natalia. What if he laughs at me? What if he says no? How in the hell do I handle that?" God, you were sure you were going to puke over this.
"Just be patient, Y/N. Bucky'll ask. Deep down, he's old fashioned. Wants to be traditional and do the right thing. He loves you. He obviously wants to be with you. He's gonna ask."
****
The mission was currently going south.
Fast.
You were distracted and it was showing. "Fuckin' hell!," you spat, the bullet hitting you right in the hip and dropped you to the ground. Your vision went blurry as you saw the figure running toward you, calling out your name.
"Doll? Baby?," his voice was laced with panic and fear. "God dammit!," he snapped. This was what he'd feared the worst, every time you went on a mission. That absolute fear that he could lose you at any given time.
The blood was pouring out and you reached a bloody hand to his cheek. "Buck?," you coughed, your voice weak. Fading. "Bucky?," you repeated. "I'm here, baby," he panted, trying his best to keep pressure on the wound.
"I - I love you," you whispered. "Pr - promise me somethin'," you were trying desperately to focus on his face. Tears were streaming down his cheeks. "Baby, save your energy, okay? Don't talk too much, don't move." But you shook your head.
"Promise me...promise me you'll move on," you said weakly and he sobbed. "I'm not, you hear me?," he replied softly. "You're it for me. You're my world, my everything. I'm not gonna lose you. Not here."
"Not now."
But you shook your head no. You knew. You'd accepted it. This was the end. And that was okay.
"Bucky? Please. Be happy."
He was shaking. Covered in your blood. He couldn't do this. Not after everything. Not like this. He couldn't lose you. He couldn't bear it. He looked up as the team came rushing in, Steve picking you up gently and you let out a long wail of pain and you heard Bucky scream.
****
"You died on that jet."
"I watched it. I watched you die."
His voice was pulling you back from the abyss. Closer and closer to consciousness. Like you were floating toward the surface. Your eyes opened and the light was nearly blinding.
"It killed me."
You turned your head slowly. He was perched on the small sofa, his head in his hands. Hair covering his face. He sounded exhausted, like he hadn't slept in weeks.
He hadn't.
"B - Buck?," you rasped and his head snapped up. He was on his feet in an instant. His eyes were locked onto yours, like he absolutely couldn't believe you were alive. He looked at you like he was seeing you for the first time.
"Bucky?," you asked again and tears streamed down his face. He cupped your cheeks and kissed your lips. It had felt like a lifetime since he'd done that. "God, baby. You scared the hell outta me. I didn't think you were coming back."
"I missed you."
He walked away for a second, rummaging through his bag, pulling out something small, you couldn't make it out as he made his way back over. "I don't wanna wait any longer. God, I shoulda done it ages ago, Y/N. I was so nervous."
You furrowed your brow as he moved carefully to perch beside you in the hospital bed. He opened his palm, revealing the small velvet box. Your heart stopped for a moment and you looked up at him, tears gathering in your eyes.
"What do you say, Y/N?," he asked softly, opening the box, "will you have me forever?," he whispered and you nodded.
"Forever."
