The only sounds in the room was the clock ticking on the wall and the almost rhythmic sound of the monitor that was just barely keeping you alive. Bucky could hardly focus, parts of the argument still playing over and over in his mind, along with the sounds of the gunshot and your screams.
Screams that would haunt him for the rest of his life.
****
"Don't be reckless this time, Y/N," he hissed in the dark. You rolled your eyes, making your way through the labyrinth-like hallways. He always did this.
You were still pissed off. The two of you had gotten into it before you left. He told you that you were unprepared. You called him an asshole and threw a picture frame at his head.
"I can handle it," you quipped, your back pressed against the cold, concrete wall, listening closely. Footsteps. Five men. Armed to the teeth. A smile danced across your lips. Time for some fun.
You took out two easily, Bucky took out two of his own. But you weren't quite quick enough for number five.
Your scream rang out as you dropped to the ground, a second shot cutting through the air, the man falling dead. "Hey," Bucky tried you coo, crouching down beside you. "Hey, look at me. Oh my god," he whimpered, seeing the blood pouring from your chest.
"Baby?," his voice frantic, full of panic, "can you hear me? Oh, sweetheart." You tried to reach out to him, your bloody hand coming up to his chest. "B-," you stuttered, "Bucky?"
"Don't talk, baby. Okay? Save your strength. Can you do that for me?," he asked as he picked you up carefully, another scream ripping from your lungs, tearing through him, tears streaming down his face.
You remember just barely seeing his face before everything went black.
****
"I'm sorry."
"I let this happen. I shoulda been paying better attention. I should be-," he trailed off, sobs shaking his entire body. He couldn't breathe. He'd watched you die. Saw the life leave your eyes. Effectively ending Bucky's world.
Steve poked his head in, giving Bucky a small smile before closing the door behind him. He handed over a cup of coffee, Bucky taking it gratefully. It tasted like burnt mud, but he needed the caffeine to keep him awake.
"Tomorrow," Bucky told him, his eyes still on you, "tomorrow we're gonna go buy a ring. I'm gonna do what I shoulda done a long time ago instead of just stringin' her along for the last two years."
"I know she's been wantin' me to ask. And I keep making excuses like a damn fool. Putting it off cause the idea of getting married scared the shit outta me. I was so damn afraid I'd turn into my old man."
"He was loud. Beat my mom. Always yelled at Becca and me when he was drunk and belligerent. I just figured that's what happened to men when they got married. That they turned into monsters."
He looked at Steve. "I didn't want to do that to her. I couldn't. I'd put a bullet in my head before I laid a hand on her in anger. She's every fuckin' thing that matters to me. And now I don't even know if I'm gonna be able to take her home."
He sighed softly and wiped away the tears that wouldn't stop falling. "If I have to bury her, Steve, you'll have to put me next to her. Cause it's gonna kill me if she dies. I don't wanna be in a world she's not in. I don't wanna keep goin' without her. I can't."
He let out a heavy breath. You had to wake up. You had to come back to him. It didn't make any sense to him, you not being there with him. He barely remembered life before he laid eyes on you. Hell, life before you didn't matter. You were everything to him.
"She'll be okay," Steve whispered, cutting through the silence, "she's tough, Buck. She's taken bullets before. Been stabbed. Beaten. And she always comes back. Like a cat with nine lives."
"Yeah, but what happens when those nine run out, Steve? What the fuck do I do then?"
Steve sighed. He wished he had an answer. He knew the prognosis wasn't good. He knew that you were just barely here. That the doctor just wasn't sure, that he really couldn't give a definitive answer. Ultimately, it was up to you.
Would you fight to live? Or would you just be done?
"I need to breathe," Bucky announced, patting his front pocket, making sure the packet of cigarettes was still there. "I'll be back, alright?," he told Steve, who nodded. "Don't leave her side. I don't want her to wake up alone."
"Wouldn't dream of it, Bucky."
****
He lit the cigarette and took a puff, watching as the smoke swirled around. Let it fill his lungs. You hated it when he smoked, always complained about the smell. Refused to kiss him until he brushed his teeth. Said you didn't wanna kiss an ashtray.
But Bucky was stressed as fuck. More stressed than he ever remembered. And he was scared as hell. Scared that he was going to lose the love of his life. That he'd never get to see your face as he got down on one knee and asked you to be his bride.
He dropped it on the ground and crushed it with his boot. He tossed the remaining pack in the trash can and headed back inside, praying to the God of Thunder that you'd come back to him.
****
He pushed the door open and heard the quiet conversation. Steve talking...to you.
"...Hasn't left your side, Y/N. He just stepped out for a moment."
"Thanks, Stevie."
Your voice was weak, rough and strained from the breathing tube. But you were alive. You were back. You were still here. "Babydoll?," he asked softly, closing the door. He rounded the corner and met your eyes and his tears spilled over again.
"Hey, Buck."
He didn't hesitate to rush over, kissing your head. "My baby, my best girl. God, I've missed you so much."
You smiled up at him as he took your hand. "I'm gonna take you home," he told you. "I'm gonna give you everything you've ever wanted."
****
The stars were shining above the white marquee. The crowd had dissipated, leaving just the two of you on the lawn. His hand held tightly on yours, playing with the platinum band he'd placed just a few hours earlier .
"It's everything I hoped it would be," you whispered, looking at him, admiring him in his navy suit, his hair cut short. He looked like a new man. And in a way, he was. You'd made him a new man by coming back to him.
"I'm glad," he grinned and kissed your lips softly, savoring the taste of you, the lingering champagne on your lips. You tasted like heaven to him. You were heaven to him.
"Can you believe we pulled it off?," you chuckled, and he laughed back, shaking his head, crinkles in the corners of his blue eyes. "I can. We've been plannin' like crazy people for a year."
He pulled you close and took you for a spin, grinning as you threw your head back and laughed. You were it, you were absolute perfection to Bucky. All he'd ever wanted in his life, all he didn't know he wanted.
"So, what next?," you asked against his lips and he smirked.
"Life, baby. Life with you."
