My Snarky Tutor(Boyxboy)

Chapter twenty-two pt 1

(Dustin's P.O.V)

After I paused the game, I turned off the game, not saving, I yanked off my headset out of frustration.

I couldn't keep calm anymore. Guilt was practically eating me alive. I feel like an asshole.

I've cancelled out on Noah, lied to him about going to a party, wasn't able to the idea he wanted to see a kids movie and i didn't even have the guts to call him

When I planned to go with him, I honestly had no intentions on cancelling on him.It's just... After I asked him, I remembered how people at our school usually go to the Scarborough theatre, including all my friends. A LOT of people jump to conclusions, spread rumors and weren't afraid to ruin other people's reputation. If someone from my school saw Noah and I together, they'd definitely figure out that we were on a date, tell their friends, twist the story a bit then tell the entire school.

I would get made of, beat up and...I wasn't even acting like a proper boy...boyfriend. I shouldn't care what people think. I should be able to like whoever I want right? I should be holding Noah's hand and kiss him in public!

I laid down on my bed that had a bunch of junk on It but I couldn't summon the effort to care.

I really should stop being selfish. Forget my reputation, what about Noah? How was he really feeling? He must've been heartbroken and angry when I cancelled out on him. He was definitely the type that would like to show P.D.A so did he think I don't really show any(except putting my arm around his shoulder...but that's in a friend type of way) affection because I was embarrassed of him?

If I kept this up, I know I'll lose him. I'd definitely lose him since no one wanted to be kept in a secret.

But a same-sex relationship is...you know...

I didn't consider It wrong or anything(even though that was how I was raised) but everyone else did. Hell, a lot of hate crimes against gays happened. So basically, an open same-sex relationship could be really risky, almost like a forbidden love. It was a bit odd to be honest.

But I did want to be with Noah! I really did! I love the way he made me feel, I loved his smile and how my heart would jump a little whenever we texted or spoke to each other. I felt like the happiest person on Earth whenever I was around him.

What about Noah? Did he feel happy whenever he was around me as well? Did I make his heart race? He sure made mine race.

But lately ,something feels a little off. It was almost as If It feels like he doesn't like me as much as he used to. Well, I guess I didn't blame him, look at the way I was acting. It seemed like I was jerking around his feelings.

There wasn't anyone else he was interested in, was there? A girl? No...I was 100% sure that Noah was completely gay.

If there was someone else, or he was just getting tired of me, that meant I have to fight for him and be a better boyfriend, right?

I took out my black berry out of my pocket and I was about to call Noah until a thought came to my head.

'Before calling him to tell the truth, I better tell Connor and everyone else who was lied to that Noah and I actually together. I would rather get made fun of and beat up now then later. Plus my friends would get angrier If I hid this any longer. I'd probably lose most of my friends but I know I won't lose all.'

"Dustin! Come downstairs and eat!" my mom called from downstairs.

'Actually, should I tell my parents first? My mom...I think she knows already. But even If she didn't, I was sure she wouldn't hate me. It was just my dad that I was worried about...and the rest of my family. They were a little...um...opinionated.'