Fix you

I don't suggest it

Porcelain POV

I was sitting in my room, on my bed crying. Just after we left the hospital I got a call saying my mom passed away. I just broke down on the sidewalk as we waited for Josh's mom.

Josh.

Josh was actually amazing to me. He just sat down on the curb with me and let me cry. Even now. He's with me in my room letting me cry. I told him he could go home but he said he didn't want to leave me alone.

I wiped my eyes, "ok. I think in done." I said as I went to my mirror and grabbed a nearby Kleenex, wiping under my eyes, "now." I said sitting back down on the bed, "distract me."

Josh cocked an eyebrow at me. "Why do I have to distract you?"

I sighed, "because. If I'm not distracted, I'll get sad again. And then I'll start crying again. and neither of us want that."

Josh shrugged and got up, he started dancing around the room. And by dancing, I mean tripping and almost tripping and falling around my room. By the time he finished I was killing myself laughing.

Josh fell flat on his stomach on the bed. I just laughed a bit more then calmed down. I was starting to calm down so I poked Josh's shoulder, he grumbled into my duvet but I assumed he said what. "Josh. I'm feeling sad again." I said poking my bottom lip out even if he couldn't see.

Josh just turned over keeping his eyes closed and opening his arms. "Then come here and cry because I am not doing that again."

I shrugged and laid down next to josh. I wrapped my arms around him and he did the same with me. I didn't end up crying. But I did fall asleep in his arms.

Josh POV

I woke up to porcelain playing with my hand. Wait. My wrist.

I jerked my hand back and opened my eyes. She stared blankly at me, "sorry." She said taking her hands back.

I shook my head and sat up, "no. It's ok. I guess. Just no one had seen those before."

She nodded, "what's it like? cutting I mean."

She must not mean does it hurt, "it hurts. But I mostly do it because it makes me feel something other than what I usually feel." I explained, "I don't suggest it tho. I mean, it helps but the solution only raises a new problem, I've been trying to stop basically since I started. It just took over my brain. I've done it thinking 'this is the last time' so many times. But eventually I realized every time is the last time."

She nodded, "you're anorexic too. Right?" she asked.

I stared at her, "and bulimic. How did you figure that out? my family still hasn't and I've been this way for about a year."

She shrugged, "I'm observant and when I woke up my hand was on your ribs. And I could feel them." I looked down at my hands, "I'm not judging you. I'd probably be doing the same but I don't have the guts."

I smiled and moved a piece of hair from her face, "it takes more guts not to do it. Takes a stronger will power." She nodded, "now. How are you feeling today?"

She shrugged, "good as expected I guess. We've kinda known she was gonna pass for a while now. Just never thought the time would actually come."

I nodded, "how about we go to. My place and watch movies?" I said changing the subject. She nodded so we headed off to my house.